What if the child says: "I do not want to go to school"?

To date, in the field of education is quite common problem, when the child does not want to go to school. With this phenomenon, parents may face both students of junior school and teenagers. What should adults do in this case? In the first place, you should discard thoughts that you have a bad son or daughter, or that you are to blame for the situation. And then you need to understand the reason why your child says: "I do not want to go to school." What to do, so that he would go to school with pleasure? Tips for parents on the resolution of such a question are given in this article.

Revealing the Reason for Reluctance to Learn

When parents feel that the child with the approach of autumn is becoming increasingly sad, they should definitely find out the reason for this state.

If it is a student of a junior school, special attention should be paid to his drawings. After all, babies often display their fears on paper. Perhaps the main theme of the picture will be an evil teacher or children who are fighting. A good way to identify the reasons for reluctance to go to school can be a game. For example, a beloved bear cries when the first of September comes. Or the hare refuses to go to school. Let the kid explain the reason for this behavior of toys.

In the case when the words "do not want to go to school" sound from the lips of a high school student, the root of the problem can be identified only through a confidential conversation with your child.

Period of adaptation to school

Throughout September-October there is an adaptation of the son or daughter to the school. For some children, the period of habituation can last even before the New Year. At this time, parents who hear: "I do not want to go to school," the following is recommended:

• Give the child more attention than usual;
• Watch what the son or daughter draws, what games he prefers, and what he / she cares about;
• Support the baby in every possible way;
• Try to communicate more often with his teachers and classmates.

It is also necessary to take responsibility for observing the regime of the day. And this applies to both junior high school students and high school students. A prerequisite is a fixed bedtime. You should also set an alarm clock so that morning awakening does not happen at the last moment, when it's time to leave the house, and it was possible to wake up quietly, stretch, make exercises, have breakfast and go to school. Nervousness and delays - a definitive "no"!

If the child does not want to go to school, the reasons for this may be different. We should dwell in detail on each of them. First, consider the problems that can arise in children of primary school age.

The first reason. Fear of a first-grader before a new and unexplored

Why do not children want to go to school? The first reason for this is the fear of something new and unknown, which is most often experienced by domestic, "nesadikov" kids. They are frightened by a lot of factors. For example, that my mother can not always be around, that she will need to communicate with people who were previously unacquainted, that classmates will be unfriendly. Sometimes children who are not accustomed to independence, even afraid to go to the toilet, because they think that they can get lost in the corridors.

If the child is just because of the fear of the new says: "I do not want to go to school," what should parents do in this situation? It should be in the last days of August to hold a child a tour of the school so that he gets acquainted with the cabinets, corridors and toilets. And then on the first of September all these places will be already familiar to the kid, and he will not be so scared. If you are lucky enough to meet other, more adult students, it is recommended to talk with them in front of the child, or maybe even introduce them to your baby. Let the older guys tell the future first-graders how they like to learn, what good teachers work in the school, how many new friends can be found here.

Also parents can tell their life stories about how they were afraid to go to the first class, what exactly they were frightened at. Such stories need to have a happy ending. Then the kid realizes that there is nothing terrible, and everything will be good.

The second reason. The presence of negative experience in the pupil of primary grades

Sometimes it happens that a child who says: "I do not want to go to school", already had the opportunity to experience the learning process earlier. Maybe he had already finished first grade. Or the kid attended pre-school classes. And as a result, the experience gained was negative. There can be many reasons for this. For example, the child was teased by other children. Or it was hard for him to learn new information. And maybe there were conflict situations with the teacher. After such unpleasant moments the child is afraid of their repetition and, accordingly, says: "I do not want to go to school."

What should parents do in this case? The main advice, as in all other cases, is to talk with the child. If the blame for everything was a conflict with the teacher, you do not need to say that the teacher is bad. After all, for a first-grader he is almost the first unfamiliar representative of the world of adults. Communicating with him, the child learns to establish relationships with the elders. Parents should try to take an unbiased look at the situation and understand who is right, who is to blame. If the kid did something wrong, you need to point out the mistake he made. If the teacher is to blame, then do not talk about it to the child. Just write it, for example, in a parallel class, so as to minimize their communication with this teacher.

If there was a conflict with classmates, you should disassemble this situation, give the right advice and teach the child to solve problems of this nature. The kid should be told that you always support him, that you are on his side and that he can always count on you, but he must deal with peers himself. The main task of parents is to explain how to get out of such situations, so that all parties to the conflict are satisfied.

The third reason. Fear of a first-grader that he can not do something

From early childhood, parents, without knowing it, nurtured a similar fear in their child. When he said that he wanted to do something on his own, the adults did not give him that opportunity and argued that the baby would not work. Therefore now, when a child does not want to go to school, they can have fear that he will not get to study well or his classmates will not want to be friends with him.

What should parents do in this situation? It should be as often as possible to remember the moments when the child has achieved success, to praise him and necessarily to cheer. The kid should know that mom and dad are proud of him and believe in his victories. We must rejoice together with the first-year student of his small achievements. Also, you should entrust him with various important tasks, so that the child understands that they trust him.

The reason is fourth. A pupil of lower grades seems to be disliked by a teacher

A pupil of lower grades can have a problem when he thinks that the teacher does not like him. Often this is due only to the fact that there are many children in the classroom and the teacher simply does not have the opportunity to personally refer to each child, to praise him. Sometimes it is enough for the child to make only one remark, so that he thinks that the teacher is biased towards him. The consequence of this is that the child does not want to go to school.

What should an adult do if such a situation arises? First of all, it is necessary to explain to the son or daughter that the teacher is not Mom and not Dad, not a friend and not a friend. The teacher must give knowledge. It should be carefully listened to and asked questions when something is unclear. Parents should communicate with the teacher, consult with him and be interested in the success of the baby. In the case when the teacher really dislikes your child and you can not affect it, you should advise the child not to pay attention to fault-finding. If the conflict is really serious, you need to consider the option of transferring the child to a parallel class.

Now it's time to consider the reasons for not wanting to learn from teenagers.

The reason is the fifth. A high school student does not understand why he should study

Sometimes it happens that a high school student says: "I do not want to go to school" because he does not understand why he needs the acquired knowledge and where he can subsequently apply them.

What should parents do in this situation? It is necessary to try to bind the subjects studied at school to real life. You should learn to find physics, chemistry, geography and biology in the surrounding world. To form an interest in acquiring knowledge, it is recommended to visit museums, exhibitions and cognitive excursions together with the child. When walking in the park, you can try to draw together his plan. Ask your high school student to help you translate the text from English and then be sure to thank him. The main task of parents is to form a strong interest of the child in gaining knowledge in school.

The reason is sixth. Poor performance of the senior pupil

Often the reason for the reluctance to learn is the banal bad performance of the student. He simply can not understand what the teacher is talking about. Boredom is the main emotion in the lesson. The longer this misunderstanding occurs, the more likely the development of a deadlock situation, when the essence of the subject finally eludes the child. And if the teacher has mocked or ridiculed the student before the whole class for poor progress, then the desire to teach this subject can leave the senior student forever. It is not surprising that in such a situation the child does not want to go to school.

How to help a teenager in this case? It is easiest to make up for lost knowledge on a particular subject, when the problem was discovered relatively recently. If one of the parents is sufficiently informed in the necessary industry and if he has the proper patience, you can deal with the child at home. A good option is to visit a tutor. But first of all you should try to explain to a high school student how important knowledge of a particular subject is. Without realizing this fact, all subsequent studies can go to waste.

The reason is the seventh. The high school student is not interested

Another reason why a child does not want to study at school, maybe his giftedness. Sometimes a high school student who grasps information on the fly is simply not interested in attending classes. After all, the educational process is designed for average students. And if the child has to listen to the information that is familiar to him, his attention becomes dull and a sense of boredom.

What should parents do to a gifted child? If the school has a class for such students, it is recommended that you transfer your son or daughter there. If not, then it is necessary to help the child to satisfy his curiosity through independent studies.

In the case when the lack of interest in learning is due not to a special gift, but to a banal lack of motivation, one should try to interest the child. It is necessary to identify several main areas that attract him, and help him develop in this vein. For example, if your son or daughter is interested in a computer, let him / she help you perform simple tasks for your work. For this follows the child to thank, and maybe even to allocate a symbolic salary. This will be the motivation, which in this case is necessary.

The reason is the eighth. Undivided love of a high school student

In adolescents, the problem of unrequited love can become very acute due to their age, temperament and hormonal background. The child pronounces the words "I do not want to go to school" because I do not want to see the object of my feelings.

In such a situation, parents are strictly forbidden to shower their son or daughter with ridicule, since the case is really serious. Their task is to be close, to support and encourage their child and to talk heart to heart when a teenager is ready for it. If he asks to be transferred to another school, parents should not agree and go on about the emotions of a high school student. It should be explained that the emerging problems must be solved, and not run away from them. Convince the child that in the course of time everything will be right and ahead of him, a new happiness awaits.

The reason is the ninth. Conflict of a teenager with classmates

Reasons for conflicts between the child and classmates can be varied. Without controversial situations and clashes of interests, it is difficult to manage. But if the relationship with other teenagers is constantly heated, the student begins to feel like an outcast and, of course, my mother hears: "I do not want to go to school". The child is constantly in a state of stress, the school becomes the place, even thoughts about which cause a high school student unpleasant sensations. The totality of these factors destroys his self-esteem and negatively affects the child's attitude.

The main thing that parents should not do in this case is to let the situation run wild. You should try to call your son or daughter to a confidential conversation. After this, you need to tell your vision of the solution to the problem, give some advice. For example, that the student at the change kept close to the teacher or another adult. In the case of ridicule and aggression from classmates should be silent, avoiding visual contact and not responding to provocations, leave. The child should feel confident and do not practice the behavior of the victim. His posture, his head high, his confident gaze will speak about this. A high school student should not be afraid to say "no".

In case of aggravation of the situation, it is necessary to employ teachers and a school psychologist if this is available in the educational institution your child is attending.

Why do not children want to go to school? The main task of every parent is to find the answer to this question in relation to your child. If the cause could be identified, then solve the problem is not so difficult. If you can not manage on your own, you should seek help from teachers or a school psychologist. Parents should not solve the problem by force or by pressure on their son or daughter. The child must feel that his mother and father are always on his side and are at any time ready to support him.