Female psychology in relationships with men. Psychology of relations between men and women

People often complicate everything. If there is a simple way out of the situation, he will be dismissed with contempt. And then, after long discussions and disputes, people will come up with a variant that is complex, mysterious and difficult to implement. It will become the norm. The psychology of the relationship between man and woman did not escape this fate.

Game theory

Mankind has turned the relationship of the sexes into a kind of complex game with unwritten, but clearly all recognized rules. As the well-known book says, men are from Mars, unlike women, who are known to be from Venus. Quite a strange theory, if you remember that this is not only Earthlings, but also representatives of one species, just different-sex. Already on the basis of this, the male and female psychology of relations should be sufficiently similar and mutually complementary. But for some reason, everyone is looking only for differences, not noticing the general, which will help partners initially avoid conflict.

Instructions and recipes

Magazines offer countless instructions on taming an individual of the opposite sex. All of them are based on the stereotypes already clogged. Features and secrets of female psychology in relationships and love, which are told by such sources, is a unicorn that exists in the imagination of the authors of articles and books, and not in real life. But, alas, such recommendations set certain behavior scenarios. People try to realize them and, of course, they fail.

What does a girl usually expect from a boy? Love, faithfulness, care, understanding. These are the four points that are key in the relationship, the rest are just pleasant additions. What does a young man want from a girl? The same. After all, harmonious relations are primarily comfortable for both partners. Why, then, does this original harmony set by nature turn out to be so ineffective?

Care or selfishness?

Of course, the root of the problem is that although a man and a woman want the same things in a relationship, they represent it in different ways. As a result, projecting to the partner their expectations and aspirations, get the effect, directly opposite to the one conceived. Extremely worn life situation, illustrating the main female mistakes in dealing with a man: the housewife asks the spouse about the day that has passed, tells him some news, while he barely tolerates her chatter.

But is it horrible what is happening? A woman simply thinks that such a conversation is a manifestation of attention. After all, she is interested in his affairs! A man sees everything quite differently. He is tired, angry and wants to rest, conversations do not interest him at all. A man thinks that a woman acts selfishly, she just wants to chat. And if she wanted to show attention, then she would have been silent, she had given the chance to rest in silence.

What instincts say

You can find this simple and fairly scientific explanation. Men are different from women, it's obvious. In nature there is no species, whose opposite sex representatives would behave identically. The fact that different reproductive strategies dictate different patterns of behavior is natural and natural. Therefore, female psychology in relationships with men is often untenable, as, indeed, and vice versa.

A woman is primarily a mother. Yes, she can be convinced childfree, work in the police and get involved in extreme sports. But nature has ensured that the woman felt the need to communicate with the child, this is an indispensable condition for rearing the offspring. Naturally, this can not but leave its imprint on the person. Female psychology in relationships - whether with men or with a child - remains the same. Instinct authoritatively declares that communication, conversation - this is a concern.

A man does not really need this quality. As a consequence, the woman perceives the conversation as a manifestation of care and attention. A man genuinely does not understand what they want from him and why they take offense. He just wanted to rest.

Everything is decided by the conversation

But why reduce the relationship in pairs to the simplest instincts? Yes, they influence the behavior of people, but in fact a person is not an animal. He is able to control himself, change his behavior, improve. If partners have difficulties in their relationships, the best thing to do is just to talk frankly and try to find a compromise. No article in the magazine, no psychologist giving advice on the site online, will ever be able to explain a person's behavior as well as he does himself.

All complex moves, all developed strategies cost less than one frank conversation. Above was a typical example of misunderstanding, and even a reasonable explanation given to him. But the simplest and most obvious way to solve a problem is just a conversation. All that a man needs to do is say: "Honey, I also missed you. But now I'm very tired, I need to rest. Let's talk a little later. " All that a woman needs to do is hear his words. Exactly what he said, without distorting the meaning and not looking for hints. And then women's psychology in relations with men as a material for study will no longer be needed.

Partner - first of all the person

All you need is to understand the partner, it's him, not the virtual average representative of the opposite sex. Yes, women are different from men. But every person, regardless of gender, is a person. What one girl likes is unpleasant. What is natural for one man will seem strange to another.

There are many things that separate people, and gender is the smallest problem. Religious and cultural differences, way of life, upbringing. And the only way to step over these barriers is to talk and hear each other.

People simply put different meanings in the same words. You can not project your needs and expectations to a partner. After all, all people are different. Before starting to make a person happy, it would be nice to understand exactly how he imagines harmony and comfort.

Questions and answers

You can read an article in which women's psychology in relationships with men is analyzed in detail. They write about what the woman wants, and how to handle it, what to say, and what to keep silent about. But it's not with this girl who exists only on paper. Live with the living and the present. This girl has dreams and desires, character and life experience. Someone wants to make a career, but someone is sitting at home. One woman dreams of a strong man who will solve all problems for her, another prefers independence. The only way to find out what a person needs is to ask him.

But the trouble is not only that people are afraid to ask questions, preferring to look for answers anywhere, just not next to themselves. Both boys and girls are taught from childhood what they should be like. They give stereotypes of behavior and in advance intimidate that if they do not comply, then no one will love. Be affectionate, and then you will not marry. Do not be a nerd, no girl will look at you. Here and then, having reached already mature age, the former boys and girls are afraid to be themselves.

Trust and respect are the basis of relations

Often people are sure beforehand that the mask is necessary even in communicating with the closest people. You have to be right, meet the standards. If you just act naturally, nothing good will come of it. That's what such people say all their lives are not what they think, but what they think people want to hear. They paint an ideal image of their answers and, for some reason, get upset, not getting what they want and waiting for.

Then it turns out that there is no more incomprehensible thing than female psychology for men. What do you need to know to prevent this from happening? The answer is simple. All that is needed to create a harmonious, warm relationship between a man and a woman is love, trust and honesty. Only then it will not be the relationship of two aliens - one from Mars, and the other from Venus. It will be the union of two intelligent, loving people who value and understand each other.