Good mom - what does this mean? How to become a good mom?

To carry the proud title of a mother, it is not enough just to give birth to a child. You need to become a real kid friend, companion, adviser, so that you can confidently say that you are a good mom. In order to achieve this goal, you need to constantly work on yourself, because this task is not simple.

Remember your childhood

In order to earn the title of "good mother", you just need to remember your own childhood. Surely, as a child, you loved, respected and appreciated your parents. Nevertheless, in no one family, not even the strongest and most amicable, does not do without grievances and misunderstandings.

A clever mother first of all should note for herself those educational methods of her parents, which she considers to be successful and effective. A skillful combination of rigor and affection, encouragement and punishment, freedom and prohibitions. But do not go too far. As a child, you probably felt injustice in some moments. It is foolish to think that in time everything will be forgotten, because childhood memories are considered to be the brightest and strongest. Learn from the mistakes of your parents and do not repeat them in the upbringing of your children.

Make time for your child

Long ago, the time when the role of women in society was limited to the maintenance of a home and the upbringing of children. You can argue a long time about whether it's good or bad, but one thing is obvious: in the current rapid pace of life, women are spending less time talking with their babies.

A good mother should (no, she simply must) devote as much time as possible to the child, teach him something new, live with him the common happy moments, talk with him about everything in the world. And it's not just that the baby needs to feel the warmth and attention of his parents. Think also about yourself. Every day the precious time is irretrievably gone, and the child grows up. Soon he will have his friends, his own affairs, his secrets, and he will not come to you at all. Smart mother can keep warm and friendly relations with her children throughout her life.

Often arrange family evenings

It is very important for a child to feel himself in a warm family circle. It would be ideal to spend each evening together, eating a delicious and warm dinner, watching your favorite comedies, reading aloud books and so on. Unfortunately, not all families have such an opportunity, but a good mom will always find a way out.

Every evening at least for half an hour to spend joint activities with the child. Bring him to the preparation of dinner, do the lessons together, blend something out of plasticine or draw a postcard. But for general family gatherings, one can single out a single day. Let it be, for example, every Sunday or the first day of every month. Let this evening at home will be mom, and dad, and grandmothers, and grandfathers. Have fun tea parties and family concerts.

Be with the child on equal terms

The best mother is the one who can talk with the child on an equal footing. This does not mean that you need to lisp with the baby and fall into childhood. It is important to give the child to feel that you respect him and consider him.

Leave the command tone (unless, of course, it's not about excessive whims and pranks). Imagine that you are not talking with your child, but, for example, with a friend. Talk with the baby in such a tone, as if he is already an adult, try to explain everything to him and answer the questions.

An important role is played by eye contact. Do not look down on the child. Yes, you have a significant difference in age and height, but you need to be able to smooth it. For example, when starting a serious conversation, sit down to be on par with the baby. So that you can look at each other in the face, reading the tiniest of his intonations. This will help you understand each other better.

Do not let anything distract you.

Modern parents do not have enough free time to be with the child. Nevertheless, a loving mother should allocate at least one day or at least a few hours a week to spend them alone with her baby. These can be joint creative pursuits, walks or cultural events.

But it often happens that mothers are distracted by telephone conversations, correspondence on the Internet or chatting with friends. You may not notice, but the child is very upset and offensive. Nothing will happen if you turn off the mobile for a couple of hours or lie to your friend, whom you met on the street, that you are in a hurry. But the child will certainly appreciate your presence and warmth and will know that you are the best mom in the world.

Do not shout and do not swear

Children often fool around and show disobedience. Sometimes they can commit a serious offense, without realizing it. Most parents raise a cry, reacting to the child's fault. In this situation, the kid is simply lost, not understanding where his loving mother has gone. Sometimes parents stop controlling themselves so much that children simply start to fear them.

It is impossible to achieve mutual understanding and good behavior by shouting. Think about whether to make noise when the child breaks the vase, because in a similar situation you will not get angry. Do I have to swear when the child does not listen, because the explanations and arguments spoken in a strict but calm tone will sound much more convincing. In addition, not always the bad behavior of the baby can be explained by his nasty nature. Perhaps it is worth showing it to a child psychologist.

Every time you want to raise your voice to a child, remember that his behavior is only the result of your upbringing.

Praise and encourage the child

Every person should have an incentive for development, success and right actions. For the child, this incentive is the praise of parents. This is wrong if you notice every fault or mistake of the baby, and his achievements go unnoticed.

Do not skimp on affectionate words and praise for your child, if he did something good or achieved certain success. Thus, the child forms a personality, as well as an idea of the right actions. Also, do not forget to periodically encourage the child for some significant achievements. So, mark a successfully written control or victory in the contest by some nice gift or family trip in the cafe.

Learn to speak and listen

Until a certain age, parents do not perceive their children as serious, full-fledged individuals, preferring not to have serious conversations with them and not paying much attention to childish babble. But in vain. It is at such a young age, when the baby's mind is just forming, that he needs a warm parting word, which his sweet, good mother will tell him.

But the ability to speak should not exclude the ability to listen. Children are very emotional and receptive to everything. They are so eager to share their impressions and feelings with the closest people! Even if for you these things seem frivolous, listen carefully to your child, because for him it is extremely important.

Asking how to become a good mother, you need, first of all, to imagine yourself in the place of the child. How does he live, what he likes, what he sees and hears around him, how do his parents treat him? Only in this way can you fully realize your mistakes and become on the right way to raise a child. Remember that it is in childhood that the personality and perception of the world are formed. Your future depends on you.