Types and styles of education in the family

Quite often, people who have children turn to psychologists for help. Moms and dads ask specialists where their favorite children could have unwanted qualities, bad behavior. The most important role in the formation of personality is played by upbringing. From its style and type, chosen by parents, the character of children, their further life depends. What methods and forms of upbringing are applied? In this matter, it is worth investigating, because the answer to it will be useful to know all parents.

What is upbringing and what styles are there?

The word "education" appeared in people's speeches for a very long time. Evidence of this is the Slavic texts dated to 1056. It was in them that the concept was first discovered. In those days, the word "upbringing" was given such importance as "nurturing", "feeding", and a little later it was used in the sense of "instructing".

In the future, this concept was given many different interpretations by various specialists. If we analyze them, then we can say that education is:

• The formation of a personality that will be useful to society and which can live in it, will not avoid other people, will not close in itself;
• Interaction of educators and educated;
• learning process.

Parents, raising their children, often do not think about organizing this process. They act as intuition dictates, life experience. Simply put, moms and dads raise their sons and daughters as they do. Thus, each family adheres to a certain style of upbringing. By this term, specialists understand characteristic patterns of parents' relationship to their child.

There are many classifications of styles of upbringing. One of them was proposed by Diana Baumrind. This American psychologist identified the following styles of parenting in the family:

• authoritarian;
• authoritative;
• liberal.

Later this classification was supplemented. Eleanor McCoby and John Martin singled out another style of parenting in the children's family. He was called indifferent. In some sources, such terms as "hypoopeak", "indifferent style" are used to designate this model. Below, the styles of upbringing, the characteristics of each of them, are discussed in detail.

Authoritarian style of family education

Some parents keep their children in strictness, apply strict methods and forms of upbringing. They give instructions to their children and are waiting for their fulfillment. In such families, strict rules and requirements apply. Children should do everything, do not wrangle. With misconduct and misconduct, caprices, parents punish their children, do not take into account their opinions, do not ask for any explanations. This style of family education is called authoritarian.

In this model, the independence of children is very limited. Parents who adhere to this style of parenting, think that their child will grow obedient, executive, responsible and serious. However, the final result is completely unexpected for moms and dads:

1. Active and strong in nature, children begin to show themselves, usually in adolescence. They rebel, show aggression, quarrel with their parents, dream of freedom and independence and that's why they often run away from their parents' home.
2. Unconfident children obey their parents, fear them, fear punishment. In the future, such people are not independent, timid, withdrawn and sullen.
3. Some children, growing up, take an example from their parents - they create families similar to those in which they grew up themselves, keep both wives and children in severity.

Authoritative style in family upbringing

This model specialists in some sources denote by the terms "democratic style of education", "cooperation", since it is the most favorable for the formation of a harmonious personality. This style of education is based on a warm relationship and a fairly high level of control. Parents are always open to communication, they want to discuss and solve all the problems with their children. Moms and dads encourage the independence of sons and daughters, but in some cases may indicate what needs to be done. Children listen to the elders, they know the word "must".

Thanks to the authoritative style of upbringing, children become socially adapted. They are not afraid to communicate with other people, they are able to find a common language. An authoritative style of upbringing allows you to grow up self-confident and self-confident personalities who have high self-esteem and are capable of self-control.

An authoritative style is an ideal model of upbringing. However, an exceptional commitment to it is still undesirable. For an infant at an early age, authoritarianism, which comes from the parents, is necessary and useful. For example, moms and dads should point the baby at the wrong behavior and demand from him compliance with any social norms and rules.

Liberal model of relations

Liberal (conniving) style of upbringing is observed in those families where parents are very lenient. They communicate with their children, absolutely everything allows them, they do not set any prohibitions, they want to show unconditional love for their sons and daughters.

Children who are brought up in families with a liberal model of relations have the following features:

• Are often aggressive, impulsive;
• They aspire in nothing to deny themselves;
• Like to show off;
• They do not like physical and mental labor;
• Demonstrate self-confidence bordering on rudeness;
• Conflict with other people who do not indulge them.

Very often the inability of parents to control their child leads to the fact that he falls into antisocial groups. Sometimes the liberal style of parenting leads to good results. Of some children who know freedom and independence since childhood, active, determined and creative people grow up (the way a particular child will become, depends on the nature of his nature, laid by nature).

Indifferent style of raising a child in the family

In this model, parties such as indifferent parents and embittered children stand out. Moms and dads do not pay attention to their sons and daughters, treat them coldly, do not show concern, caress and love, are only concerned with their own problems. Children are not limited in any way. They do not know of any prohibitions. They are not inculcated with such concepts as "good", "compassion", therefore children do not show sympathy neither to animals, nor to other people.

Some parents not only show their indifference, but also hostility. Children in such families feel not necessary. They have deviant behavior with destructive impulses.

Classification of types of family education according to Eidemiller and Justiskis

An important role in the formation of personality is played by the type of family upbringing. This is a characteristic of the value orientations and attitudes of parents, the emotional attitude to the child. E. G. Eidemiller and V. V. Yustiskis created a classification of relations in which several basic types characterizing the education of boys and girls were identified:

1. Pretending hyperprotection. All the attention of the family is directed to the child. Parents tend to maximally satisfy all of his needs and moods, fulfill his desires and fulfill his dreams.
2. Dominant hyperprotection. The child is in the spotlight. Parents constantly monitor him. The independence of the child is limited, because mom and dad periodically put him any prohibitions and restrictions.
3. Cruel treatment. The family has a huge number of requirements. Their child must obey unquestioningly. Following disobedience, whims, rejections and bad behavior, cruel punishments follow.
4. Neglect. In this type of family upbringing, the child is left to himself. Mom and Dad do not care about him, are not interested in him, do not control his actions.
5. Increased moral responsibility. Parents do not pay much attention to the child. However, they impose high moral demands on him.
6. Emotional rejection. Education can be carried out by the type of "Cinderella". Parents are hostile and unkind to the child. They do not give caress, love and warmth. At the same time they are very picky to their child, they demand from him observance of order, subordination to family traditions.

Classification of types of education according to Garbuzov

VI Garbuzov noted the decisive role of educational influences in the formation of the characteristics of the child's character. In this case, the specialist singled out 3 types of raising children in the family:

1. Type A. Parents are not interested in the individual characteristics of the child. They do not take them into account, do not seek to develop them. Upbringing of this type is inherent in strict control, imposing the only correct behavior on the child.
2. Type B. This variant of upbringing is characterized by the anxious-hypothetical concept of parents about the state of the child's health and social status, the expectation of success in learning and future work.
3. Type B. Parents, all relatives pay attention to the child. He is the idol of the family. All of his needs and desires are sometimes met to the detriment of family members and other people.

Study Clemence

Swiss researchers under the leadership of A. Clemence identified the following styles of raising children in the family:

1. Directive. With this style in the family, all decisions are made by parents. The task of the child is to take them, to fulfill all the requirements.
2. Partisipative. The child can decide something for himself. However, there are several general rules in the family. The child is obliged to fulfill them. Otherwise, parents apply punishment.
3. Delegating. The child makes his own decisions. Parents do not impose their points of view on him. They do not pay much attention to him until his behavior leads to serious problems.

Disharmonious and harmonious education

All considered styles of upbringing in the family and types can be combined into 2 groups. This disharmonious and harmonious upbringing. For each group, there are some features that are listed below in the table.

Why do some families have a disharmonious upbringing?

Parents use inharmonious types and styles of upbringing in the family. This happens for various reasons. This is the life circumstances, and character traits, and the unconscious problems of modern parents, and unmet needs. Among the main reasons for disharmonious education are the following:

• Projection on the child of their own undesirable qualities;
• Underdevelopment of parental feelings;
• Educational insecurity of parents;
• The fear of losing a child.

At the first reason, parents see in the child those qualities that they themselves have, but do not recognize them. For example, a child has a tendency to laziness. Parents punish their child, cruelly treated with him because of the presence of this personal quality. The struggle allows them to believe that they themselves do not have this flaw.

The second mentioned reason is observed in those people who did not experience the parental heat in childhood. They do not want to deal with their child, try to spend less time with him, do not communicate, that's why they use inharmonious styles of family upbringing of children. This reason is also observed in many young people who were not psychologically ready for the appearance of a child in their lives.

Educational insecurity arises, as a rule, in weak personalities. Parents with such a shortage do not make special demands on the child, satisfy all his desires, since they can not refuse him. A small family member finds a vulnerable place for mom and dad and enjoys it, ensuring that he has the maximum of rights and minimum of duties.

In the presence of a phobia of loss, parents feel the vulnerability of their child. They think that he is fragile, weak, sickly. They protect him. Because of this, such inharmonious styles of teenage upbringing arise, as an indulgent and dominant hyperprotection.

What is a harmonious family education?

With a harmonious upbringing, parents accept the child as he is. They do not try to correct its insignificant shortcomings, do not impose to it any models of behavior. The family has a small number of rules and prohibitions, which are absolutely respected by all. The needs of the child are satisfied within reasonable limits (while the needs of other family members are not ignored and not infringed).

With a harmonious upbringing, the child chooses his own way of development. Mom and Dad do not make him go to any creative circles, if he does not want to do it himself. The independence of the child is encouraged. If necessary, parents only give the necessary advice.

For upbringing to be harmonious, parents need:

• Always find time to communicate with the child;
• To be interested in its successes and failures, to help to cope with some problems;
• Do not pressure the child, do not impose his own point of view on him;
• Treat the child as an equal member of the family;
• To instill in the child such important qualities as kindness, sympathy, respect for other people.

In conclusion, it is worth noting that it is very important to choose the right types and styles of parenting in the family. It depends on what the child becomes, what his future life will be, whether he will communicate with the surrounding people, whether he will become closed and unsociable. In this case, parents need to remember that the key to effective education is the love of a small family member, interest in it, a friendly, conflict-free atmosphere in the house.