Rules of communication with friends. Psychological rules of communication

Perhaps someone will be surprised, but communicating with friends implies compliance with certain rules. The earlier a person learns them, the better will be his relationships with others. It is believed that the rules of communication with friends should be understandable on an intuitive level, but practice proves the opposite. Very often a person suffers from his own loneliness, sincerely wondering why people are avoiding him. There can be many reasons. Many tend not to notice their own shortcomings, to ignore other people's remarks, considering them unfounded. But the problem of communication exists, moreover, it becomes relevant and common.

And not a friend, not an enemy, but so

There is a category of people who do not need communication at all. Misanthropes, hermits, introverts are just a few epithets that reward those who prefer total company to a noisy company. But their units, and the bulk of the population is experiencing some discomfort with a lack of live communication. To improve the situation, you need to learn the rules of communication with friends. At this stage it is worth asking a number of questions:

1) Am I a good friend?

2) Will I go to the rescue of a loved one if he asks for help?

3) Do I offend people by word or deed?

4) Am I being tactful enough?

5) Do I know how to conduct competent, constructive conversation?

6) Am I an erudite and well-rounded personality enough to be of interest to others?

Honest answers to these simple questions will make it possible to make a certain picture.

Secrets of Friendship

As a rule, friendship is born in early childhood, and if it is lucky, it goes through all life. Such relationships are not interrupted, even if people travel to different cities and start families. This should be sought.

So, there is one wrong position: everyone should perceive me as I am. This is the greatest error. A person all his life should strive for an ideal, engage in self-education, listen to criticism and draw conclusions. A person can not be at one stage, it either develops or degrades. Of course, everyone wants to see in the circle of their friends those people who are trying to become kinder, smarter, more educated. A good example is contagious. If there is a desire, then it's time to move on to practical advice. The rules for communicating with friends are as follows:

1) Listen. Perhaps this is the main rule. Not every person is able to show sincere interest in the story of the interlocutor.

2) Do not be silent. Interrupting and inserting a similar story, of course, is not worth it, but to make relevant and intelligent comments is not only possible, but also necessary.

3) Carefully give advice. Probably, the interlocutor waits for them, but whether it is necessary to incur such responsibility? After all, in the end, you can remain guilty.

4) Friends meet in order to spend time together. The key word is "together." That's why you should not get into a corner with the phone and gloomily look at the comrades, distracting conversations from your favorite toys.

Basics of etiquette

Every elementary person is familiar with the elementary rules of etiquette. But theoretical knowledge and their application in practice are not the same. The rules of communication with friends are a whole science that every person who is tired of loneliness will have to master. Friendly etiquette says that you can not:

1) To put the friend in an awkward position. This means that it is strictly forbidden to ask for debt in excessively economical or to demand quickness of action from a slow one.

2) Handle difficult requests. A comrade will have a feeling of guilt from the fact that he can not help.

3) Too often ask for help. Sooner or later such regularity will start to bother, and the person will try to stop communication, believing that it is being used.

4) Make promises and not fulfill. Such actions make you disappointed in a friend.

Virtual world

The Internet has firmly entered the life of every person and has become an integral part of it. Social networks replace live communication, so it's no wonder that there are rules for Internet communication with friends. The first and the main commandment says: the messages sent by friends must be answered. Sometimes people on the web prefer to ignore them. Here you need to make a small digression and imagine such a situation. Two friends met:

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

The interlocutor did not answer anything, he turned around in silence and left. Silent scene. This is what the silence on the web looks like.

Also do not send a friend funny and funny pictures. Never. Maybe it's very funny and interesting, but suddenly a person is busy or just not in the mood. He will have to make an effort to answer this meaningless message.

In the modern world in fashion, a habit that needs to be eradicated is to respond with cuts. For example, "PPS" instead of "thank you", "pzhl" instead of "please." Russian language is beautiful and rich. It is much more pleasant to communicate with a person who owns it in perfection, and not with difficulty connects two words in a sentence and differs with frightening tongue-tie.

The problem of relationships with classmates

Years of study are remembered with warmth and tenderness. Everyone sooner or later thinks of a long time when he was a carefree schoolboy. But nostalgia will come after decades, but for now there can be problems in dealing with peers. Avoid them will help the rules of communication with classmates. It's relevant to the winged expression: treat people as you want them to treat you. This means that one should not give offensive nicknames, laugh at physical disabilities, show disrespect and rudeness. These trivial truths need to be learned, they will help build a harmonious relationship with society.

Is it possible to lie to friends?

Probably someone will be surprised, but sometimes you can lie to friends. The rules of correct communication say that one should always remain an honest and sincere person, but the concept of "lying for good" has not been canceled. So in what situations is permissive slyness? Lying is justified when the truth can lead to unpleasant consequences or even tragedy. For example, an unattractive girl asks: "Am I ugly?" Is there an affirmative answer to this question? Truth-lovers, of course, will say that it is always necessary to speak only the truth. But does a person who asks such a question want truth? Also, lies are justified, if it is a question of saving lives, dignity and honor.

How to become a good friend?

The French writer Michel de Montaigne said: "There is no other calculation in friendship other than herself." So why is it sometimes difficult for a good and open person to communicate with people? The rules of successful communication will help to change the situation for the better. And if the standard norms of conducting dialogue and behavior are known to every person from early childhood, more subtle nuances can become a startling discovery. Psychological rules of communication - this is a panacea for the soul that is lonely:

• Barrier in communication will help to overcome the sharpening of communication skills.
• Controlling your own emotions is something that you need to develop in yourself.
• Observation will allow you to adjust to the interlocutor, this guarantees the maximum benefit from communication.
• The ability to choose a topic is the key to success. If we look at a simple example, then a person with three higher educations, talking with a simple worker, will not talk about the Barrow theorem or about modern research in the field of genetics. Unfamiliar topics will put the participant in the dialogue at a dead end, and he will be embarrassed.
• The sweetest word for any person is his own name. During communication it is not necessary to depersonalize the interlocutor, it is necessary to address by name.
• A benevolent smile works wonders.