How to learn to respect yourself: advice of a psychologist for increasing self-esteem

In most cases, a person's self-esteem is established from childhood. Because of the parents' wrong attitude, the person will grow up insecure, always doubting himself, having an inadequate assessment of his actions and, as a rule, unsatisfied with life. How not to allow this? And if a person has already formed a low self-esteem, how to increase it, become more confident, appreciate yourself and change your life? This will be discussed in the article.

Mom: Punishment and Praise

If the mother wants to form in her child a personality capable of adequately assessing herself and her actions, she should be able not only to punish, but also to praise her child. When an adult asks himself the question: "How to learn to respect yourself?", He has to look into childhood. It turns out that he was much abused and little or not praised by his parents, especially his mother. When a child is constantly subject to criticism, he is underestimating himself. If the child is only praised, a person with an overestimated self-esteem will grow up . So it turns out that it's always better to stick to the golden mean. Mom has always been and will be the main link in the education of a daughter or son.

From the point of view of mother, punishment can be quite justified, because the child does not obey. However, often children are reproached not because they want to do us spite, but only learn something new, learn something, and the parent at the moment is uncomfortable, troublesome. In order to avoid conflict situations, Mom should develop a sense of respect for her child, the ability to see him as an independent person. "I said! .." should sound rare in communicating with your precious child. Imagine how to learn to respect a child if he is constantly subject to criticism! From such a small man grows insecure and perhaps offended, an angry adult at all. Only mutual respect and calm communication is the right way to develop a harmonious self-respecting and surrounding people person. Nobody rules out rigor, but on one rigor nothing good will come of it. A person is not like a bowstring in a bow. It can be pulled, released and re-tensioned, but if you pull it, the psyche will suffer ...

The essence of self-esteem and how to learn to respect yourself with low self-esteem?

Self-esteem sounds like a judge's voice of the inner person. He evaluates our actions, results, words, emotions, self-image. As a result, conceit is formed that influences our perception of the world around us and our position, social behavior in it, confidence and determination to act, change something and decide whether to help someone or not, etc. Often the self-respect of most people is very strong Depends on how others perceive us. If this ratio is positive, then, accordingly, we grow in our own eyes. The opinion of others is important to all: women, men, girls and boys, adolescents and small children.

To understand how to learn to respect yourself, it is necessary:

• Recognize that you have an understated opinion of yourself. Awareness is the first step to solving the problem.
• Stop focusing on your own shortcomings. Switch to dignity.
• You are not a victim! Problems have all, and you are no exception. Your problems are no more than those of others. If you are whining, they will worsen. From the aching person, people turn away, and then new ways and opportunities are closed.
• Relax! Find time for yourself. Let it be just a few minutes, but they should be with you - a minute of complete tranquility and relaxation.
• Rejoice and please yourself and others ... Make occasional little surprises, presents, go for walks, go to the movies, cafes or just to the park ... Giving joy to yourself and loved ones, you get in return a colossal amount of energy and positive charge, which, in turn, affects the Self-esteem, self-esteem and quality of life.

Reality and self-esteem

It is interesting that our self-esteem has nothing to do with reality. Self-esteem, talents, abilities often do not match. History knows a lot of cases when geniuses, who possess exceptional talent and abilities, had a low opinion of themselves. At the same time, there are people who have mediocre abilities or are completely deprived of both intelligence and talents. It is surprising, what high self-esteem they have!

Lack of self-esteem leads people to feel insecure, constantly feel guilty and depressed, can not fully open their potential, suffer insulting situations and relationships. For example, how to grow fond of yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman who suffers constant reproaches, insults, reproaches and humiliation? Such a wife with a low self-esteem will tell her husband the words, which in another situation she would not have said for anything. With another man who knows how to emphasize her dignity and show respect for her, she would be a completely different woman, with a different look at herself and her surroundings ...

The main danger of disrespect for yourself is the formation of inadequate perception of the society and its place in it. Very low self-esteem provokes the emergence of a constant sense of guilt, shame, various phobias. All this, of course, has an impact on the success and self-realization of the individual.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman or a man?

There are quite a lot of reasons that result in low self-esteem. As a rule, this is a deeply entrenched representation of a person about himself, originating in childhood, the experiences of the past and the long absence of parents. Self-denial can cause experienced psychological and (or) sexual violence, wrong decisions that led to significant problems. If a person has had to survive any kind of violence, he will certainly need the help of a professional to increase his self-esteem.

The help of a psychologist or psychotherapist will make it possible to release sore, speak out and reconcile. Many people try to increase their own self-esteem on their own, but this does not give the expected result. Sometimes such an approach leads to a worsening of the state, down to the most negative consequences. To raise self-esteem self-esteem, one must possess an uncommon strength of mind, will and stable psyche. The best option is to contact a specialist.

What are the signs of lack of respect for yourself

Self-assessment is a variable. It depends on situations and surroundings. There are people who are calm and positive with close people, and are closed and shy with strangers. Others, on the contrary, outside the home are confident, active and optimistic, and at home they are lost and, as it were, faded away. We are all different. Not everyone is able to maintain an equilibrium state of mind under stress and difficulty. Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are formed in childhood. However, this does not mean that it is impossible to form it in adulthood. Just for this you need at least the desire of the person himself.

Sometimes it seems that a person is confident enough, optimistic and positive. But in fact, such a person can constantly be in a state of struggle with himself, with his phobias and complexes. Therefore, low self-esteem is manifested in different people differently. To understand how to learn to appreciate and respect yourself, it is necessary to conduct a self-analysis of the causes and signs of low self-esteem:

• Feelings of guilt - frequent and unreasonable;
• Autoaggression;
• Unceasing self-criticism;
• Stiffness and shyness;
• Various phobia plans, fears (for example, in public speaking).

People with established low self-esteem, as a rule, perceive the world as something hostile, and feel themselves in the role of a victim. They feel fear and reluctance to express and defend their rights, refuse new experiences, miss opportunities and feel completely helpless and unadapted to life. All this only worsens the condition, and the person moves in a closed circle, constantly feeling shame and fear.

Sometimes persistent low self-esteem in itself is one of the important symptoms of a mental disorder (depression, borderline personality disorder).

What are the consequences of low self-esteem?

Disrespect for yourself first of all will affect your health and psyche. A person can begin to pursue a negative in life (loss of work, divorce, etc.). He begins to feel a sense of unfulfilledness, frustration in the relationship, uncontrollability of the situation, everything seems to float away from the hands ...

Every woman should respect herself, otherwise she runs the risk of being unclaimed or constantly humiliated by close and uninvolved people. The unfortunate appearance causes pity only for a while, and not at all. Then he starts annoying others. Helpless before the difficulties of life, a person risks becoming a victim of violence (emotional, physical, sexual), subject to discrimination due to religious views, culture, race, sex, etc. He may develop a mental disorder.

Brief advices: how to love and respect yourself, regardless of gender, age or position

Everyone deserves love and respect. Here are some tips that step by step help to achieve stability in the soul and increase self-esteem :

• Create a list of your achievements and strengths, regularly reread it;
• Remember your uniqueness, values for loved ones and others, and even if there are not, then surely you need God. You are a person whom God loves and appreciates, but wants it to be transformed and get rid of bad thoughts and the painful state of the soul;
• Forbid yourself to even think: "I do not need anyone, nobody loves me, I never get anything, I'm a loser ...";
• Clean up your appearance, it is very important for solving the problem of self-esteem;
• Eat only healthy and healthy food. Do not take food under the TV, video, radio, etc. Let it be a special time with a served table, even if you are alone;
• Do sports at least three times a week and make daily walks in the fresh air;
• Be sure to get enough sleep;
• Go through relaxing massage procedures and do not spare money for your health;
• Houses should be clean and cozy, and walls or shelves let them decorate your letters, cups, valuable gifts or just your pictures, photos;
• Sometimes indulge in delicious food or engage in your favorite and interesting business for you;
• Listen to positive music, watch a motivating, kind and bright movie, start taking interest in painting, dancing, culture;
• Communicate with positive people;
• Set real goals and achieve results;
• Throw the trash out of the house and soul;
• Learn to cook deliciously, sing, dance and go to the temple, pray to God and ask to let in your life and heart love;
• Complete unfinished business and do good deeds for people, revise the circle of communication, devote your time a little more to others, while expanding your horizons;
• Do not be afraid of those who do not appreciate you, become straight, straighten your back - you are no longer that humiliated man. You are a worthy person, having his own opinion and self-respect, confident and positive, and let the evil remain somewhere out there, away from you;
• Never compare yourself to anyone.

Every change of self is work. Do not take this process as a hard, tedious job. Enjoy the transformation, get joy and satisfaction from it.