What if I constantly argue with my husband?

Often you can hear such an expression that "the darling are being scolded, only they are amused." However, regular quarrels in the family can not bring anything good. The reasons for this phenomenon can be many. If you are ever more likely to ask: "What if I constantly argue with my husband?", Then it's time to finally recognize the existing problem and try to solve it peacefully. But where to start? And how to fix the situation?

What causes quarrels and strife?

The simplest rule in the family: "To be able to hear and listen to your partner." It is because of non-observance of this rule that quarrels usually begin.

As a result, both spouses cease to listen to the opinion of the other and respect his interests. They begin to defend every point of view and, as a result, regularly argue and quarrel. Hence the assertions of women, like this: "We constantly argue with my husband because of trifles." At the same time, both spouses begin to resemble offended children, who have taken away the toy. Each of them stands on its own and does not intend to give in to another.

If everything continues at the same pace, then both spouses will understand that they have absolutely nothing in common. The consequences of this are divorce, the division of property with all the ensuing consequences.

The main thing is to stop in time

If the husband and his wife are constantly swearing, then at least one of them should definitely stop and take a sober look at the situation. Think carefully about how it all started and how your quarrel is going on. If this could not be remembered, it is necessary to reflect on the fact that both partners are necessarily the perpetrators of the family troubles.

If, in your opinion, the quarrel was started by the husband, what prevented you from staying on time? Why did you suddenly become a child and with a frenzied fuse have entered into a dispute? You supported the controversial, and therefore, no less than he is to blame.

It is possible that your spouse simply flared up. In this case, it can be influenced by various factors, including unpleasant moments at work, lack of finance and much more. Be smarter. Do not respond to shouting by increasing your tone. Suggest the spouse to calm down and look at the subject of the dispute calmly. In this case, your tone should be balanced, and your voice - calm. After that many men come to their senses. Remember, the main thing is to stop in time, before it was said what to say is not worth it. And then you will no longer be wondering why my husband and I are constantly arguing.

Try to look for a compromise

Any negotiations, including those that occur between two disputing spouses, need a compromise. Sometimes it is not easy to find it, but it is necessary. For example, if you argue over who will pick up children from school or kindergarten, go for a compromise and make a schedule. On Mondays and Wednesdays it will be done by your husband, and you - on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And that no one was offended, on Friday the grandmother or grandfather will cope with this task. And then you definitely will not start a conversation with your girlfriends with the phrase: "Girls, I constantly argue with my husband, how to fix the situation?".

What is the result of the lack of a compromise?

In the absence of a compromise or the desire to search for it, each of the partners will do spitefully to another. For example, the husband will be regularly detained at work, because exactly there he will be able to get rid of your reproaches and moods. He will turn off the phone, spend more time with friends. And sometimes it's not sober. All this translates into a certain protest and a desire to escape from the unpleasant and tense situation in the family. As they say, a man should have a reliable home at home. If it is not, it will simply return there less often, and eventually, perhaps, and in general will cease.

The wife, on the contrary, will become offended. Sometimes she will seek help from her parents, relatives, like-minded people. They all have them, she will ask: "With my husband we constantly swear, what should I do?". Of course, every case is individual. However, with this approach, your marriage is unlikely to last long. Act and change the situation for the better.

How to fix the problem together?

In order to solve any problem, it is necessary to act together. For example, many ladies claim that their quarrels are purely financial. From them you can hear about the following: "We constantly argue with my husband about money. They are not enough. Low salary. We can not buy and postpone anything, "etc. However, before you saw your husband and again remind him of his small salary, think about what you did specifically to solve this problem. So, how to act?

First, talk to your husband. However, do not build your conversation only on some reproaches. Psychologists recommend using the tactics of "hamburger". Remember that the hamburger has two buns and one cutlet.

So, first the husband should be praised, then, a little scold (moderately, of course), and then - again to praise. For example, you get something like: "Dear! You're so talented and clever. Only the authorities do not appreciate you. The salary at you small, though you work without days off, moreover and all you do for three experts. It is not right. Talk to management. Tell me it's time for career growth. From your position you have already grown up and ready for responsibility, new obligations. Ask to raise you and increase your salary. You know how much I appreciate your courage, discretion and responsiveness. At you all will turn out, here you will see! ».

Believe me, with this approach, you will no longer need to look for answers to the question: "Tell me, what should I do? I constantly argue with my husband and do not know what to do! ".

Do not try to redo anyone and look for solutions peacefully

The most common mistake in family relationships is the desire of one partner to remake the other. Hence the mutual insults and reproaches. But only one person can not be altered, of course, if he does not want to.

If you decide to do your husband's "upbringing", think about it - maybe something is wrong with you. If you think that everything is in order with you, then for cardinal changes in the nature of the spouse you should act gently and unobtrusively. And then from your lexicon the crown phrase "constantly swearing with my husband", which you often use when communicating with your friends, will disappear forever.

A simple example, which many psychologists hear at the reception - the husband often goes to shoes around the apartment, and his wife does not like it. What do you do in this case? Stop shouting at him. If he is so used, then conversations in high tones can not be helped here. So, the egoistic phrase "I want you not to walk around the apartment in shoes" can easily be replaced with "I would like our house to be clean and cozy. So be nice, do not go around in your shoes and appreciate my work. "

Communicate more with each other

Sometimes women make an unforgivable mistake - they are dissatisfied with something, but do not talk about the reason to her husband. Of course, to expect that the spouse will unravel, because of what offended his second half, it is possible for years. As a rule, he does not even know what, in fact, we are talking about.

If something does not suit you, tell your spouse about it. However, this should not be done in the form of a claim - it is better to communicate gently and accurately, without affecting his male pride.

Pregnant: with the husband constantly we swear

Often, women who are in an interesting position are prone to quarrels and mood swings. To all the fault is an overabundance of hormones. Of course, if you have a loving and caring husband, he will understand exactly what your sudden mood swings are.

If the situation has escalated, and you can not do anything about this and the scandals continue, try to do respiratory gymnastics. It helps to relax, calm thoughts and even balance emotions. As a variant, a special complex of yoga for pregnant women with elements of simple exercises and breathing will work.

Walk more in the fresh air. In the end, it is possible to fight emotions with alternative methods. For example, psychologists advise singing, dancing or engaging in creativity (knitting, sewing, making something). And then your family will be quiet and calm.