Words have incredible power. They break hearts. Said, even in the heat of quarrel and "not serious", it is not easy to forget. And it's really very bad, if you know about it first-hand.
Below is a list of phrases that are forbidden to speak in a relationship, because they actually hurt.
1. This is all your fault / fault
To blame someone does not mean to solve the problem, even if the person is really to blame. Your partner should avoid accusatory speeches, and instead explain why he thinks so, and not otherwise, and offer his help in resolving the situation.
2. He / she always did this for me
You can not, remember, you can never, give an example of the former. Compare a loved one with a former - not only anger him, but also indicate that the current relationship does not fully correspond to the previous ones. This means that your partner will always worry if they are good enough. If the relationship is really a problem, they need to be discussed and resolved through compromises.
3. This is the most stupid thing I've heard (a)
As a loving partner, your boyfriend / girlfriend should take all of your goals and ideas. If they react like that, maybe it's better not to tell them anything at all. Even if the idea is really ridiculous, can not you first get into its essence, and then express your opinion softer, than so bezapelyatsionno to refute it? We often set ourselves a framework, it is not necessary that the closest person does it.
4. I just want to hit you right now!
Even if there was never any physical violence from your partner, it's not much better. He must avoid such thoughts, even when he does not have enough arguments. Not only does violence not solve a single problem, it also causes them.
5. There's nothing you can do now.
This is a very dangerous phrase, because you start to believe in it. Saying that you are useless, even if it is not so, your partner influences your self-esteem and self-confidence.
6. I told you so.
Of course, you yourself know how pleasant it is to emphasize that you are right, and your opponent is not. But does this solve anything? And is your partner your rival? When this phrase is not spoken, but heard in your direction, it is not only annoying, but also very offensive.
7. If you love me, you should ...
No "if", and no "worth". Such pressure is manipulation, which is prohibited in normal and healthy relations in any form. In addition, this is a very sneaky blow, because your loved one knows that, of course, you love him, and, of course, fulfill his request. But can not you just ask?
8. Do not put it on
Remember, criticism in the relationship at least once was the beginning of something good? A person who loves you will love you in any way. If he, of course, loving. He will offer you bits of himself, but certainly not make you feel like a failure in choosing a style.
9. You complete / complete me
It may sound pretty nice, but in reality it's a red bell. Healthy relationships suggest a personal space for the development of each partner, whereas this phrase indicates a higher healthy level. Be cautious with such statements, because they too can come with high expectations.
10. [Insert any disrespectful statement here]
No one should put up with the fact that he is not respected. Especially if a person who does not respect you says that he loves and cares about you. In whatever form this was expressed and how rarely it was said, do not put up with it. Pay attention to any patterns of the partner's behavior and leave any relationship in which respect (and you along with it) is not put in anything. Does he / she continue to do this again and again? Go away once and for all.