How to behave in conflict situations? Ways to resolve conflicts

Conflict is something that can arise both in family and friendships, and in the working environment. The behavior of people in conflict situations determines the outcome not only of the quarrel itself, but also of the relationship as a whole. That is why it is very important to be able to properly resolve various differences, or, even better, be able to circumvent them. So how to behave in conflict situations correctly? We learn!

What is conflict?

Types of disagreements and quarrels are diverse, but they all have one essence.

First of all, the conflict is a situation created to resolve the contradictions between the two people in the form of the activity of both parties necessary to achieve justice. Avoiding controversial situations is highly undesirable, since in most cases there are misunderstandings due to the appearance of understatement, and this does not benefit any of the conflicting parties. Suppression of quarrels and disagreements is dangerous, because this can contribute to the adoption of rash decisions.

Stages of the conflict situation :

• The first stage is the stage of the potential formation of conflicting values, interests, views, norms of behavior.
• The second stage - at this stage, potential strife turns into a real one, or participants in a conflict situation realize their true and false interests.
• The third stage is a quarrel.
• The fourth stage is the removal or resolution of conflicts.

What are the main causes of disagreement?

The resolution of conflicts is based on an understanding of the reasons for their occurrence. Often, the causes of disputes are the lack of mutual understanding between people, as well as the existence of diametrically opposed interests and approaches to solving problems. Perhaps the cause of disagreement is revenge, envy, resentment or a low culture of communication. The quarrel can be based on such things as the usual incompatibility of characters or the inability to find a common language. The reasons may be the behavior of "difficult" employees or simple troubles in the organization of work, for example , work .

What differences between people can create conflict?

One of the leading causes of disagreements is the differences between the disputants. Despite the fact that people are born equal in rights and free in their dignity, in reality they are more than unequal in reality. Compatibility is influenced by many factors, for example, other than the opponent's, understanding the meaning of the work, differences in the worldview, the identity of interests, the incompatibility of the characters, the dissimilar attitude to work and responsibilities, as well as the different degree of preparedness for the work and, most importantly, available They are ways to resolve conflict situations.

Types of conflicts

In most classifications, collisions are divided into constructive and destructive.

For constructive conflicts, a characteristic feature is the violation of the principal aspects and problems of vital activity of the participants in the dispute. The resolution of this kind of disagreement leads the participants of the quarrel to a new stage in the development of the personality, whereas destructive disputes often have disappointing consequences. Destructive actions in conflict situations, such as squabbles, gossip or other negative phenomena, in most cases reduce the effectiveness of the group.

What are the types of conflict personalities?

First of all, it should be noted that there are several classifications of people participating in disputes. The type of your personality will help determine the test. Behavior in a conflict situation depends largely on this. Below is a list of possible lines of behavior.

Pedant. This type of personality is extremely accurate: it is punctual, boring, cussy, although fulfilling. It is peculiar to him to push people away from himself.

Demonstrative type of personality. As a rule, these people are choleric. They are characterized by constant rapid activity, which is conducted in a wide variety of directions. For a demonstrative type of personality, conflicts are vital. These people like to be constantly in sight and often have an overestimated self-esteem.

Conflict-free. This type of personality is inherent in consciously withdrawing from conflict situations. In addition, he knows how to shift the solution of problems to others. Often unprincipled. And the conflict, in turn, grows like a snowball and, falling off this type of personality on the head, leaves unpleasant consequences.

Leech. This person does not nag you, does not say bad things, does not offend. However, after communicating with him, both mood and health deteriorate, fatigue appears.

A stray or rigid type of personality. People who do not know how to rebuild, or, in other words, do not take into account changes in circumstances and situations, and also accept the opinions and points of view of others. This type is capable of displaying painful resentment. They are ambitious and suspicious.

Tank. This type of personality is characterized by such qualities as rudeness, pressure and unceremoniousness. Style of behavior: go right to the very end. These people in most cases tend to despise all the subtleties of relationships, others' opinions and feelings.

Vata. At first glance, this type of personality makes an impression of a decent and flexible person. Often he is accommodating and ready to make concessions. At the very beginning of communication, problems do not arise. However, in the future you will notice that this type of person does not fulfill promises.

Prosecutor. A person belonging to this type of personality, criticizes very specific people: neighbors, car owners, sellers and controllers. After he tells you who and how he should work, give arguments and draw conclusions, he will certainly become easier. This type of personality is guided by the desire to speak and be heard.

What will help to end disagreements?

Any types of conflict situations can be successfully resolved if the following two circumstances are observed.

The first factor: the participants in the quarrel understand the existing differences, and also recognize the right of each other to their opinion.

The second factor: both sides agree to abide by certain rules of the game. This makes communication between them more efficient.

Possible behaviors when dealing with "harmful" people

Managing behavior in conflict situations is important in order not to aggravate the quarrel.

One of the styles of behavior is to earn the opponent's love and just prevent the conflict from arising.

The second style of communication is stress relieving. Are you openly provoked? Take a deep breath through your nose, draw fresh air into the lungs, imagine all the malice or irritation that is in you, and exhale it all. This technique will allow you to keep yourself in hand and not act "on emotions."

In order to more easily find a common language with people, collect jokes, funny pictures and stories. When communicating with a "harmful" person they will help you.

Among other things, you can openly protest against rudeness.

If the "harmful" person still spoils your mood, then just do not remember about it. Either think about something good, or about who you are unsympathetic. The choice is yours.

How to behave in conflict situations?

During a quarrel, each of the parties can choose one of three possible strategies: 1) to achieve victory by all means available at the moment; 2) get away from the scandal, do not engage in resistance; 3) negotiate in order to overcome differences by peaceful means, or by finding a compromise. So how to behave in conflict situations? Which line of conduct to choose?

Evasion or avoidance of quarrel

If you get into a conflict situation, you just need to ignore the opponent and not succumb to provocation. In this strategy, the behavior is one: I do not care what decision is made and what actions will follow. Naturally, by this you show disregard for your own interests.

Compulsion

There are situations when you do not need to get out of the conflict, but it's important to defend your views. The tactic of "Coercion" is to convince, to get your opponent to agree with your point of view. This strategy is used when you think that your opinion is the most important and correct, and the opinion of others is absolutely indifferent to you. It makes people do what you want, and fully meet your intentions.

Complaisance

Used when we have a high interest in the opinions of others and low in relation to their own. You need to fully agree with the opponent's opinion, while not expressing any of their desires and considerations. This tactic helps not to create a conflict at all or to solve it quickly.

Compromise

The strategy is used when you have an average interest in the opponent's opinion and there is a desire to resolve the dispute or completely avoid it. The tactic is based on the fact that both you and your opponent give up some of your desires in order to resolve conflicts, trying to find a solution that will satisfy both.

This strategy is very effective, very useful, but the main disadvantage of it is that you must give up some part of your claims. As a result, the solution of the conflict situation does not satisfy all the needs.

Cooperation

Immediately make a reservation that this is the most effective strategy of behavior. It is effective when you have a high interest in both the opponent's opinion and his interests. The strategy of "Cooperation" is to fully satisfy the interests of both sides.

Possible obstacles to the completion of disagreements

In addition to the basic question of how to behave in conflict situations, it is still important to know what can prevent you from quelling quarrels:

1. If the participants in the dispute see the way out of the conflict situation solely in their victory.
2. If there are emotional aspects in a quarrel that prevent concessions or compromises.
3. If the parties to the conflict do not have the skills to work out a compromise and negotiate.
4. If the parties use ineffective strategies in the conduct of a dispute.

What prevents the management of the conflict situation?

1. One or both sides want to continue to quarrel.
2. The participants of the conflict believe that their interests are mutually exclusive, because of what they perceive the dispute as a struggle.
3. Emotional relations between the disputants are such that they can not interact constructively.
4. If the parties perceive the essence of the quarrel differently. This can happen if the participants in a conflict situation have an initial discrepancy in values or they interpret the situation differently.
5. The fact that disagreements and disputes are only the tip of the iceberg, and its resolution does not really matter.