How to avoid conflicts? How to avoid conflicts in the family? How to avoid conflict at work

A variety of quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiate positive is not so simple, because at every step we are trapped by unpleasant surprises and attacks of other people. But to struggle with all this negativity is simply vital.

Why is it important to stop swearing?

The main reason for thinking about how to avoid conflicts is your own mental health. Remember the last quarrel in which you've ever been involved. Dissatisfied skeptical statements quickly turn into real shouts. But you and your opponent have already parted, and you have been shaking for another half an hour. Concentrate on anything does not work, and it remains only to scroll through the head all the insults received and think which ones are deserved. But in fact, if someone from the surrounding people constantly treat you disdainfully, over time, self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed by their wives or colleagues for years, who do not dare to undertake serious projects, because the boss constantly says that they are not too keen on it? Of course, the thin world is better than a colorful war. It is always useful to have polite neutrality or a benevolent relationship with all friends, rather than having enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to an open confrontation.

Learning to understand and respect

Universal advice on how to avoid conflicts - learn to respect everyone around. It is not important who is before you: a homeless person, trying to beg for charity or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you had to speak, maintain a benevolent tone of communication. Often conflicts are due to misunderstandings. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interviewee is wrong, or says something nonsense, briefly describe everything that you understand from what you heard, ask again, whether he meant to say this. Never take critical information, remember that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

Never start to clash first

Think about how often you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, there is sometimes enough one careless word. If you provoke openly, instigating an interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or the beliefs he has, it's time to think seriously about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personal memo "How to avoid conflict." Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you have to be able to achieve your goals through peace.

Think positively, wish good

Never copy evil within yourself. The popular advice of psychologists how to avoid conflict at work or at home is simply to remain silent. In practice, it does work very often. But even if the quarrel does not happen, the offense will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the last? All claims to others must be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the guarantee of a happy family life. If the households rarely help you, do not make a scandal, but simply point out their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, one can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.

Do not dissolve gossip and criticize consciously

This is the essence of human nature, that in the absence of common acquaintances we like to talk about them. To "washing the bones" not only women but also men are inclined. This habit should be disposed of. If you condemn someone, say it in person to a person. To climb into personal life, if you were not initiated, at least uncivilized. It's unkind to respond behind your backs about those with whom you personally communicate well - this is a real meanness. From categorical comments to the address of third parties it is better to refrain altogether. If the situation requires your observation, try to gently, but unequivocally tell a person everything in person, as it is. Can conflict be avoided if you want to express criticism, but do not have strong arguments? Of course, yes. Suffice it to emphasize that all your words are your personal opinion, and listen to it or not, it's up to the opponent only.

To argue or not?

Some people are born debaters, they like to prove their opinion to the last. In this case, not the result, but the process itself is important. How to avoid conflict with friends or loved ones from scratch? Learn to respect others' interests. Suppose your wife likes green tea without sugar, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Do you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and drink with pleasure. So why fall to mutual insults and screams because of musical preferences, politics or religion? It is most useful to note in advance a list of topics for which it is better not to talk with a specific person.

Agree and ... do it your way!

A common cause of conflict at work is teaching and instruction. The hardest part is to resolve the situation when you are sure that everything is doing right, and the less competent person is offering another algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict can not be avoided. This is the situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize its authority. If the boss "teaches" you to work correctly, but while the results suit him even today, do not try to point out the mistakes of his judgments. The rare boss admits that he does not have sufficient knowledge and really came up with the uttermost nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for a convenient moment and continue to work in the usual algorithm. This advice on the eternal theme: "How to avoid conflicts" will help at home. Put on a hat before going out on the street in May, so as not to upset your retirement parents. Or promise your wife not to travel at a speed above 80 km / h. As soon as you turn around the corner of the building, the hat can be removed, and how to drive is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood at the height of each potential party to the quarrel.

If the scandal began ...

The whole branch of psychology is busy deducing a universal formula, how to avoid conflicts. The rules do not always work. And if you are still involved in finding out the relationship, your task as soon as possible to stop the quarrel. Concentrate on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never go on insults and do not remember the past, it is also advisable to refrain from generalizing formulations. This is the main secret, how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say ..." or "you always act ...". Such criticism is dangerous, the phrase the recipient of this type perceives as the most harsh criticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as an unworthy person.

Good mood - rescue from scandals

If you do not know how to avoid conflicts, learn to remain calm in any situation. Do not raise your voice and keep a friendly intonation. It is also useful to keep a calm smile on your face. When criticized you, listen carefully and sincerely thank. If you are dealing with someone standing higher than you (boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Recognize that without his instructions and advice, you yourself would never have thought of it. You will say: "But why submit to parents in adulthood, if it took all childhood?" In fact, knowing how to avoid conflicts in the family is useful for everyone. Appreciate your closest relatives, minor concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part - it's nothing compared to well-being in the house and a warm atmosphere.

The tricks of life without scandals

Pleasing everyone is always very difficult. It's one thing to remain silent during an argument and dress once a month, as your mother wants. But it's quite another to devote the life of an unloved profession or to give up one's own desires. When you are about to concede something to someone, try to assess how much this act will hurt your life? To be able to defend one's interests is also an art. In some situations it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue your way to the available landmark. Is there a universal way, how to avoid conflicts with parents, if they wanted for you a completely different life? Of course, it's worth trying to explain your position and come to mutual understanding. But if you can not talk, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that quarrels with the closest people are the brightest and strongest, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.

Summing up

Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking the opinions of others close to your heart and criticizing you. It is necessary to understand everyone around, and not to feel any dislike towards anyone. Learn to forgive people and cross out unworthy people from your life without regret. In some situations it is easier to concede than to defend one's rightness. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Do not forget to listen to your opponent. Only after understanding his point of view, you will be able to find a compromise or stop the quarrel in another way.

Some conflicts have serious consequences. After an argument, you can lose your job. Or your friend does not want to talk to you anymore. Even if the conflict has ended with formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the previous relationship. Assess the consequences of the quarrel, so that it does not happen, you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or undeservedly offended the interlocutor, it is worthwhile to apologize. The first time after the conflict, it is better to communicate at a minimum, you will be forgiven and understood, but it takes some time. But after a couple of days you can proceed to conciliatory steps. Try just to talk with someone with whom you recently quarreled, please something with this person. If you are in conflict at work, you should try to perform your duties at the highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.