Favorite likes the other - what to do? What should I do if a beloved man loves another?

Love ... How many sonnets about it written, how many songs are composed, how many films, books and other works of art are created. And in real life each of us at least once in my life, but I experienced this painfully sweet feeling. Although, according to many psychologists, if love makes a person suffer and commit rash acts, then this is not love at all, and such a substitute is love or passion. True love is expressed in the fact that even if a loved one loves another, it does not cause pain. On the contrary, there is a desire to genuinely rejoice at both ... and let them go in peace.

Definitely a dream

In general, of course, a man in love is not easy to distinguish love from blind love. When the two are together, it's good for them, when they are full of bright hopes, when they in the most direct sense of the word can not breathe on each other, hardly any of them thinks about the difference.

And it certainly is. Love can be compared to a dream, magical and pleasant. I want it to never end, but, alas, this does not happen.

Awakening

"The love boat broke about life," sighed Mayakovsky. Yes, it happens. It's only in books that lovers keep a quivering attitude to each other throughout their lives, in fact, everything is somewhat different. Even the strongest feelings, it happens, cool down, and there comes in some way an insight or awakening. Psychologists speak more categorically, calling this moment a period of crisis or "lapping." Alas, it is at this time that a woman can suddenly feel and understand that a beloved man loves another.

What happened?

This question is often asked to itself by a beautiful half of humanity, glancing sideways in the mirror.

It seems to be all right: there are no extra inches at the waist, a hairstyle and an invisible make-up are present, the wardrobe, including the intimate one, is regularly updated. So why is it that alarm bells ring in the mind? Why do the terrible thoughts that the beloved boyfriend love the other every now and then? And let the girlfriends offer to "hammer" and "not to bathe" - to whom, if not to us, to know and feel that the beloved and the only one has become completely different?

Changes

No, he still calls us on a date, still brings gifts, all the same invites for a weekend somewhere out of town. It just seems that between two lovers who seemed to understand each other a few weeks ago at one glance, the wall grew, which is becoming thicker and thicker.

A loved one loves another - the woman understands, feeling that a little more, and this invisible wall will become so thick that she will hardly be heard even if she tears the vocal cords. He becomes more and more irritable, he increasingly needs solitude, and in the end he retreats so much that it is preferable to spend the weekend alone, rather than in the company of a man who behaves as if he is serving a duty.

"I'm sorry ..."

"He loves another," an unpleasant thought strikes in consciousness, and, as often happens during a neurosis, the more we drive her away from us, the more she sticks to us. In the end, we also become irritable, suspicious and whiny.

A man for whom, as is known, women's tears - like a rag for a bull, already feeling guilty, irritated in return. That's a quarrel. The last one? Hardly. Man - a rational creature, even burning with painful love for another woman, may for years harry both himself and the two ladies in love with him. As for his unhappy passion, she, expressing to the tormentor all that she thinks, painfully begins to look for shortcomings in herself. The most insulting is that, while it is not known who is a happy rival, it is impossible to understand what advantages it has and what should be changed in oneself.

searching of decisions

When a loved one loves another and does not hide it, the most important thing is not to give way to panic and not to roll up hysterics. Although, given that women are emotional beings, this is perhaps the most difficult. It should be remembered that, since he is still here and has not gone anywhere, it is necessary to remain calm. It is necessary for both of them, because only in a calm state can an adequate solution be found. As for the unfaithful lover, then, without hearing the cries and reproaches, not seeing the tears and swollen face that once seemed to him the most beautiful in the world, he can bring his thoughts and feelings in order and understand what he really wants.

The decision to know by all means what a rival is, is not the best. Firstly, this is a waste of time, and secondly, without the skills of Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes, it is difficult not to pierce and not give yourself away with your head during surveillance. And yes - it's distant. If a loved one loves another girl, he turns into a real jealous of his own person and carefully protects his personal space. If the mobile phone left on the edge of the table is shifted by a millimeter to the side, this, perhaps, will not cause unpleasant questions in the style: "Did you take it?" But the thought that in his short absence, a passion that is clearly aware of something, could either read incoming SMS-ki, or write out a few unfamiliar numbers, in his head will flash. And this means that the defense will be strengthened, the invisible wall will become wider, and plus he will dig up a mental ditch.

What to do?

But other young ladies, despite the risk, still manage to find out the "enemy" in person. So, when it becomes known that a loved one loves another, what to do is not entirely clear.

The whole strategy, which was developed before the moment of truth, collapses, hands fall, and one wants to - either kill both, or break with the traitor and traitor forever. Looking at them, happy, laughing, absolutely do not want to go to the store for a new "outfit", which he will surely like. I do not want to change my hair, I do not want to improve in cooking: why, when next to him she, who is not that younger or prettier, but just different ...

By the way, the common mistake of many women is to believe that if a loved one loves another, she, this other, is certainly better in something. Yes, of course, sometimes it does happen that a man runs away from his passion to the one who does not saw him, does not hang on him, does not require attention. But it is not uncommon for a case when a tender and faithful friend used to leave for another woman simply because she is not at all like his ex-lover. Unfortunately, there is hardly anything to help here. And it makes sense to return to the concepts of love and love. If he really loved, he would not be drawn to the side in search of new sensations. If she truly loved, she would not have a desire to follow her beloved and plague him with her jealousy. Although, of course, to some extent, love is selfish.

"Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

When a couple leaves unmarried, the gap can be experienced without any special complications. Yes, it hurts, but, in the end, this is not the end of the world, and is it worth keeping to the person who betrayed and trampled on the bright feelings? And there is no guarantee that the razluchnitsa will be happy with him. After all, as you know, a boomerang always comes back, and "betrayed once - betrayed again." Another thing is when a husband loves another.

Here, especially when the family has children, a real tragedy can occur. However, given that life with a disgusted (yes, we will call things by their proper names), even for the sake of children, the wife will not be happy either to her or to her unfaithful spouse, nor, of course, feeling that something is wrong with the children at home, It will benefit the latter. As practice shows, children growing up in a nervous situation, witnessing family quarrels, even in a full family can build complexes and phobias. Therefore, is it not better to either let your beloved husband go on a free voyage, or offer him some time to live separately? A man, no matter how much he was in love with another, is strongly attached to the family. This is genetically inherent, and this can not be avoided. Walking on the side, maybe even more than one month, he will be able to appreciate the home and a friendly wife, who, provided that she can understand and forgive, is always ready to accept the prodigal husband back.