Alcoholic In The Family, Or What Is Co-dependence

Alcohol addiction is a serious and difficult to cure disease. It destroys not only the alcoholic himself, but also those people who are with him: his family and friends. Forced to endure for years hard drinking bouts of a drinking person, to watch his degradation, unsuccessfully "save", forgetting about himself, the close alcoholic themselves gradually become dependent. Rather - co-dependent on the alcoholic.

For the first time the term "codependence" was introduced in the 70s of the last century. At the same time, the symptoms of codependence were first described: it is the emotional involvement of a person in a negative situation caused by alcoholism of a loved one. Such involvement leads to destructive behavior, which only aggravates the situation. A co-dependent person saves an alcoholic at the cost of renouncing himself and his interests, he chooses tactics of control or threats, he constantly experiences a feeling of guilt that gradually leads to severe depression and the development of psychosomatic diseases. The life of a co-dependent person always proceeds in a confrontation with the one who caused his co-dependence. In short, co-dependence as a diagnosis, implies pathological changes in the human psyche, caused by close communication with a dependent person.
I must say that not only the presence of an alcoholic in the family generates codependence. Co-addicts are close drug addicts or gamers.

Exemption from codependence will help everyone

Despite the fact that co-dependent people practically put their lives on trying to wrest a close friend of the "paws" of alcohol, the result of such efforts is destructive for all people involved in this disaster. Tactics of a co-dependent person - total control, pressure, aggression, anger and threats - do not give the desired result, but only exacerbate the problem. Trying to influence your loved one, to re-educate him is an erroneous position. The co-dependent must understand that alcoholism is a disease that requires proper treatment, and no one, except the alcoholic himself, can solve this problem. But for a relative to realize this, he needs liberation from codependence. That is why the most effective is family psychotherapy: for a drinker it is a motivation for treatment, for relatives - liberation from codependence.

Exemption from codependence is the ability of a person to return to himself, return to a full life, get rid of negative emotions and feelings, stop feeling fear, guilt and constant stress. Getting rid of emotional involvement in the problem, people begin to more objectively assess the situation, understand that their loved one needs not control and pressure, but specialist help and qualified treatment.
The results of this work of a psychologist with relatives of an alcoholic, as a rule, have a positive effect on his own behavior. When a psychotherapist works with an alcoholic, and not a co-dependent relative, there is hope for recovery.