"Toxic" friendship: why should you refuse it?

People are social creatures by their very nature. Most of us like to be in the noisy company of friends and relatives. This allows us to have fun and share personal experiences. A good illustration of this trend is the recent explosion of the popularity of social networks. As we see, people are eager for interaction and are actively looking for points of contact with each other.

Here is what Dr. Arthur Aron, director of the Interpersonal Relations Laboratory at Stony Brook University, says: "Friendly relations are extremely important for human health, and this is not surprising. There are many studies that have revealed a correlation between the relationship and the emotional state.

The need for social integration

Neuroscientists are so used to explaining a person's need for friendship: in our brain, evolutionary processes took place that formed certain mechanisms that govern the desire to unite in social groups. Thus, in the cerebral cortex of the brain there is a zone called the neocortex, or a new cortex. In humans, this department is much larger than that of other mammals. The new cortex is responsible for stimulating higher social knowledge, empathy, the ability to understand the feelings and intentions of other people. Unfortunately, in some people this function is poorly developed.

Counterproductive personalities

Despite the multitude of neurobiological evidence that has revealed the need for a person in social integration, they do not say anything about people's desire to establish and maintain healthy relationships. But, as we now know, others can be counterproductive to our mental and physical health. So there are "toxic people" - friends who poison our lives and are considered only with their needs. Why should you refuse to communicate with such personalities? First, we will analyze what constitutes a "toxic" friendship.

What is a "toxic" friendship?

To recognize a counterproductive personality in your friend, answer some simple questions:

• Does your friend make you happier?
• Does it make you get better?
• He communicates with you and "in sorrow and in joy"?
• Is your friend honest with you, no matter how difficult it is?
• Does this person see potential in you, even if you do not see it?
• Does it pull you up?

If you answered negatively to most questions, your friend is a vivid representative of the "toxic" people.

This person can hurt you and not apologize. He will always wait for your favor, offering nothing in return. He communicates with you for profit, because he is used to taking all the time, but the inverse function is atrophied. At the same time in communication he is inclined to create drama, exaggerate colors and disperse negative emotions around him. All his actions and statements completely contradict the notion of "friendship". There is one "but": from counterproductive friendship is not so easy to get rid of. Your friend has clung to you like a leech. He will do his best to continue to use your favor.

Mild-heartedness hinders the severing of relations

A toxic friend knows all your weak points. He is perfectly aware of your virtuous qualities, which will never allow you to break off relations with another person once and for all. You will endure it by your side because of mercy, kindness or pity. Sometimes you may be seized by fear that by refusing to communicate you will cause this person harm. Then you begin to justify the actions and motives of a friend, attributing to him those qualities that do not exist. And what if you look at the situation from a different angle? You continue to pull on yourself a "toxic" friend, but could send positive energy into a good channel. For sure in your environment there are more worthy people.

How do these people poison your life?

Counterproductive people have many negative features. One of them is the peculiarity of drawing positive energy from one's close environment. In fact, they are energy vampires. Are you ready to give part of your internal resources to a person who will never thank you for it? Altruism is a good quality, but only in relation to those who really need help. If we are talking about opportunists, then they act as a huge ballast, which sooner or later will drag you into the abyss.

Make a conscious choice

Forget about the public opinion and the peace of your imaginary friend. This person will not change anything, and he will always continue to bend his line. Believe me, if you wish, you can easily get out of the network of "toxic" relationships. Make a conscious choice and spend your energy on a person who really deserves it. And then you will feel great!