Perfectionism is a virtue or a disadvantage?

Do you want everything to be perfect? Do you spend a lot of time on constant improvement: appearance, your work, the surrounding space, close and dear ones? It seems to you that no one will love you "imperfect"? Perfectionism ... Is it a dignity or a serious problem? Should it be encouraged and cultivated or should it be combated?

Most of us set up certain, often very high bars. Someone from childhood was taught by parents that it was necessary to fight for love, to be better, smarter, more diligent. Someone tries to constantly compete with other people, to outstrip them in everything, craves recognition and approval. Perfectionism is an excessive desire for an unattainable ideal. It would be worthy (and often it is in the eyes of other people who see the results of our achievements or work), if it did not cause so much internal tension.

No matter how ironic this may sound, perfectionism is a hindrance in realizing our real potential. Why? For the simple reason that in pursuit of perfection, we sometimes forget about the main thing: about life itself, about the purpose of our labors and worries. We become less effective. Even when We complete one task, we constantly return to it to understand what could or will change for the better. As a result, we do not have a sense of satisfaction, and the project we are building on without end, remains "imperfect". We spend much more time on our tasks and tasks than required.

Sometimes improvements not only do not improve what we are working on, but also harm the fruits of diligence. An example can serve, say, the presentation of a project. It seems to us that the topic is not yet fully disclosed, we are tied up in the endless addition of details and details, references and citations. As a result, the project loses transparency and clarity. Remember that in many respects the best is the real enemy of the good.

Perfectionism is also a constant expectation of the "ideal" moment. Which, most likely, will never come, but without which we can not make decisions. This can be compared with the expression "waiting at the sea for the weather." There will always be something to which you can find fault: it is too cloudy, the sun is dazzling, then too cold, then unbearably hot. Clinging to the small things, we lose sight of a broader picture, perspective.

What else complicates perfectionism? This is nervous tension and increased anxiety. We expect problems to appear before they really arise, and in a panic we come up with solutions for them. It becomes an obsession to prevent possible difficulties. However, most of the problems either never appear, or are insignificant. Perfectionism in psychology is viewed primarily from the standpoint of the stress and unrest that it engenders. And although this quality helps constantly to strive for higher standards and to become better, dissatisfaction is inevitable. And behind it follows frustration, a feeling of own insignificance, loss of self-confidence.

How to deal with perfectionism and is it worth doing? If this property has acquired the character of obsession, neurosis, then psychotherapy can help. However, the person himself will be able to do a lot for himself. But do not stop being a perfectionist, but learn how to manage your state.

Learn to look at the whole picture, to isolate the main thing. Try to follow the plan clearly. For example, if you have been allocated 2 hours to complete a task, take a break after their expiration, do not allow unnecessary details and grinding to absorb you for another half a day. Learn to also tell yourself "stop." Yes, you know about the imperfection of a thing or project and about the fact that you can add something and improve it. But compare what you have achieved with the intended goal. If it is done in the main, try to disconnect and do something else. Perhaps by taking a fresh look at the task, you will realize that everything is already good enough.