Is it possible to beat the child's ass? The physical and psychological consequences of corporal punishment

Can I punish my child? Most often this question is asked by young parents. The theme of corporal punishment is very controversial. There are two categories of parents: the first apply physical punishment, and the second - no. To beat the pope or not to beat? How to punish a child if he does not obey? What consequences can there be?

Key styles of education

The history of the development of mankind distinguishes three basic styles of upbringing that parents use:

• Authoritarian . The kid in this case is subjected to total control and obedience. He must necessarily fulfill all the requirements of the parent, or he will be punished. There is a rapid adaptation to this style.
• Democratic style is characterized by the fact that the child in such a family is given the right to his position. The goal of this style is the formation of a harmoniously developed personality, the parents make a lot of effort and time for this.
• The mixed method includes both encouragement and punishment. It combines several educational styles, which does not always lead to a positive result.

What is physical punishment?

The form of punishment, whose purpose is to inflict bodily harm upon the guilty, is considered to be physical. In addition to the known methods (slap, belt on the pope), there are punishments by a towel, house slippers, a snap on the forehead, etc. All these methods pursue one goal: to show their superiority over the child, to create a painful effect, to prove their case.

The main causes of physical punishment of children

Most modern moms and dads, punishing their children, believe that this is their parental duty. But this is facilitated by several key reasons:

• Heredity . In most cases, parents take out their anger on the child, based on their childhood and past. They no longer imagine that you can bring up in a different way.
• Lack of awareness of parents in educational processes. This means that the punishment is carried out because the parents of other methods do not know.
• A quick way to solve the problem. Do not spend much time explaining and teaching, it's easier to hit, and not to solve the question verbally.
• Failures against the background of their own failures. Very often children are held hostage to parental failures. Uncertainty about the future, interpersonal conflicts, inner feelings - all this can affect the child.

Why do children not obey?

We all know that there are no ideal and obedient children. In psychology, there are several reasons for childish disobedience:

• diffidence;
• Gaps in education;
• A way to attract attention;
• Striving for contradictions;
• The way of self-assertion;
• Many requirements for the child.

Most childish whims and cases of insubordination are due to the fact that the child is growing up, feels himself an individual, and parents still think that he is still a baby. The kid does not listen if the mom and dad do not pay attention to him. This is a very effective method. If you do not devote enough time to your child, then he may have an offense, and then he can do everything not how you want, and how he thinks fit.

Your heir may feel insecure in the case of increased irritability of the parents and frequent pulling over their clothes. The lack of a system in the upbringing of children is observed when a large number of people participate in this process - father with mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts. Each of the caregivers has its own method, it can differ from the methods of the rest of the family. For some, the behavior of crumbs is the norm, for others - unacceptable, and then the kid does not know how to behave properly.

Parents who use an authoritarian style of upbringing, there are many requirements to the child, sometimes not corresponding to its development and age. They put their opinion above everything else, the opinion of the child is not taken into account, they only demand it from him. If he does not follow instructions, he is punished. It is very difficult to develop a child in such an environment.

The impact of corporal punishment on the child

The physical and psychological punishment of children is prohibited by law, but many parents practice this method, considering it to be the most effective. Adults often can not restrain their anger, it is easier for them to give a strap around the pope than to explain it to the child by the available language to his wrong. If you use such a method of education, as corporal punishment, then wait for the consequences. Often, a little man develops fear, which later can greatly affect his later life.

If a child is afraid of a loved one, this in the future can affect his interpersonal relationships, adaptation in society, at work. Parents should know that to beat the pope, to humiliate, shout at his heir is impossible, because he can grow insecure, without aspirations in life. He will think that someone has power, that's right.

The physical consequences of corporal punishment

Very often corporal punishment leads to physical trauma in your child. This is due to the fact that many parents do not count their strength when punishing children. There is an addiction to pop slapping, especially if they are applied every day. This leads to the fact that the child's behavior does not change, and the force of bodily influences increases. As a result, severe bodily injury is caused.

Without controlling himself, the parent is capable of injuring a child incompatible with his life. And then the punishment of children will lead to disastrous consequences. Cuffs and cuffs lead to the fact that the baby can hit the sharp corner or other objects in the house.

Physical consequences can appear in the form of enuresis, various tics, encopresis, etc. Do not hit children, be more discreet! After all, a child is several times smaller than you.

The psychological consequences of corporal punishment

• Low self-esteem. The child will be guided by the principle of life: whoever has the strength, is right.
• Influence on the child's psyche, developmental delay possible.
• Lack of concentration on lessons, in games.
• Projection of the same behavior on their own children.
• Most children who have been physically abused become future attackers.
• The child ceases to live a reality, not solving the arisen problems, not doing study.
• There is always a sense of fear and a desire to take revenge.
• Punishment and humiliation leads to loneliness, the child feels alienated, useless to anyone.
• There is a separation from the parents, relationships deteriorate. If the family uses violence, there will be no common ground.

Psychological consequences are also frequent anxiety, confusion, fear, increased anxiety. Appetite may worsen, a child may sleep badly, hyperactivity increases.

Alternative to corporal punishment, or how to punish a child

The manifestation of weakness, lack of certain pedagogical knowledge and skills of parents leads to physical punishment of children. How to punish a child so as not to harm him? You can not beat the children by the pope, use an alternative. What you need to do this:

• It is necessary to switch the child's attention to something else.
• It is necessary to enthrall the karapuza with such an occupation that he ceases to indulge.
• Come up with new entertainment to encourage the baby, and not vice versa. For example, you can put all the scattered toys in a box. Read him his favorite book or a fairy tale for the night.
• Kiss and hug your child so that he will feel your warmth and love. Spend more time with him.
• Replace corporal punishment with more loyal methods (do not go walking, turn off the TV, take away the tablet).

To the pranks of your children, treat philosophically, projecting the whole spectrum of actions. Try to communicate more with your children, create trusting relationships with each other, and then the problems will become much less. Learn to deal with problems without punishment. It is important to understand to parents that children can not be beaten by the priest in any circumstances!