How to understand that your marriage began to crumble?

Sometimes the signs that your marriage is being destroyed are unexpected and unusual. Always consider the possibility of seeking professional help in order to maintain a relationship.

You talk but do not communicate

Your communication should not be meaningful every day. But you should start worrying if you never talk to your loved one about anything bigger than the weather, or which of you should buy food today. This is a bad sign if your conversations seem superficial. If you do not discuss important things day in and day out, it creates a distance and you start to move away from each other. This situation can make you feel less affection and tenderness towards your partner. The same thing happens if one of you just talks and the other listens. Remember that in good communication it is important not only to express your opinion. You also need to be able to listen and hear your spouse.

Do you have any disagreement as to whether or not to have children

Most likely, you discussed this topic before you began to live together, but the feelings may change. Maybe you feel that the children will interfere with your career, or your spouse wants to give up trying after you have encountered difficulties with conception. Put yourself in the shoes of another person. Find out why he or she does not want to have children and what motivates such a decision. However, persuasion is not a solution. It will be unfair if you try to persuade your soul mate to have or not have children. Parenting is quite a complex affair, in which both parents should take part. If you persuade your spouse, when he or she does not want it, it will only give rise to feelings of resentment. In this situation, you have two choices: either wait until your partner wants the same as you, or find someone who will share your point of view on this issue.

You spend less time together

Of course, you do not have to be together every minute. But you should have a feeling that you want to spend all your free time together, and you should like to be with your partner more than with someone else (at least in most cases). It's great if you like to watch TV alone, sit on the Internet, read books, work late or communicate with friends without your spouse. But remember, if you use these activities as a distraction, when you feel relieved that you do not have to be together, it means that your marriage has serious problems. For a lasting successful marriage, it's crucial to be able to find the time to be together as a couple and do what's fun for you.

You do not work to improve your relationship

Both spouses must make the same efforts to have their marriage work. One person can not do this. If you do not have enough motivation to work on marriage, to resolve issues that play a decisive role in the relationship, then you need to find out why. Often lack of motivation is evidence that something was lost. This does not mean that you can return your feelings back, but you need to spend time to find out why you feel disappointed or disinterested.

You do not have enough respect for each other

Everything starts with innocent complaints: "Why did not you wash the dishes?", Which gradually turn into a more general criticism: "You never help around the house!". Then you begin to move on to the person: "You are an egoist and a lazy person." It does not happen overnight, but gradually destroys the foundations of your marriage. If you constantly criticize each other, then you can not be a good couple. If you do not respect the person with whom you live, it will be very difficult to love him. Think about what was said or done, why you lost respect for each other. You, like your partner, should try to earn it back by changing dubious behavior and communication for the better. But if this is impossible or if you have too much to do, your marriage will not last long.

Your partner is constantly changing

Some couples can restore their relationship and move on, making their marriage more cohesive after one of the partners has changed. If this happens only once, the couple is able to survive. Nevertheless, constant betrayals indicate that such a problem will be very difficult to correct. The only way to forget betrayal - emotional or physical - is to earn confidence again and never again deceive. But if your partner changes you regularly, he will never be able to get your trust. Resign yourself to the fact that some people simply can not be monogamous, and therefore they are not created for marriage. That partner who is being deceived must remember that this is not his fault. It's not you, but your partner refused to fully participate in your marriage.

You do not have an intimate life

Of course, you should not be in bed with each other, as newlyweds. Chemistry, which exists initially between spouses, disappears for many reasons. There is nothing unusual in the periods of marriage, when you feel a lack of desire on the part of your spouse. When someone and you are sick, or if you have small children, it is natural that the intimate life is reduced. In addition, there is also the age factor, when you both can not be physically hardy as you were before. But if you no longer live an intimate life and for this there are no obvious reasons, ask yourself why. Even more problems arise when one of the partners wants sex, and the second does not. Lack of physical attachment means that you are in a platonic relationship. Couples cease to be lovers and remain friends or colleagues. But this is not the reason for most people to marry.

You argue about the same thing over and over again

Many people argue about the same thing throughout their marriage years. At the same time, it is not obligatory that the cause of the disagreement be really serious. But this situation can lead to a divorce, if you allow the dispute to become seriously aggravated, start a dirty fight, close yourself or stop talking with each other. Perhaps you will have to compromise and make some concessions to put an end to the constant battles and differences. But it's worth remembering that couples often remember old dramas because they lost interest in each other, and their relationship has stopped being healthy.