How to communicate with the child? Gippenreiter Yu.B., professor of psychology at Moscow State University, talks about this in his book

How to communicate with the child, Gippenreiter Yu.B. Reveals on the pages of his book, which has gained popularity among parents around the world.

The main thing in communicating with the child is unconditional acceptance and unconditional, price-free love. It is unconditional, i.е. "Just like that," just as it is and only for what it is. To learn to communicate precisely from the point of view of a loving and accepting parent, and not an angry and articulate claim, to help find a solution to the problem without hindering the child, to teach to bear some responsibility for the consequences of such offers Yu. Gippenreiter.

In the author's opinion, expressing dissatisfaction with any child's actions, one can discuss and criticize only actions and actions, as well as their consequences, but in no case the child itself. And be sure to emphasize that his action has upset you, but this did not affect your attitude to the child, but only greatly upset you. Those. Even blaming the actions of the child, we let him know that he is still important and valuable for us, says Julia Gippenreiter. Communicate with the child should be constantly, discuss everything that interests him, talk on any topic, openly and confidentially. However, not always ready for this, not only the child, but also the parent.

Listen to hear

So how to communicate with the child? Gippenreiter Yu.B. Advises you to master the technique of "active listening", allowing you to establish contact with the interlocutor and show that his problems are close to you, that you understand and sympathize with him. In detail it is described in the book by Yu. Gippenreiter "Communicate with the child. How? "According to the author, to build the right dialogue and adjust the child to communicate - the first steps to solving the problem.

Another method that allows you to decide how to communicate with the child, Gippenreiter Yu.B. Calls the method of "I - messages". With its help, you can express your attitude, namely your experiences about the current conflict situation, not giving an assessment of the actions of the interlocutor. An example of "I am a message" is the phrase "I was very upset because of today's quarrel" instead of "You are messages" "You behaved disgustingly and I was upset." "I - messages," according to the author, do not blame, but only express your attitude to what happened, which is important in communicating with any person, and even more so with a child, a teenager. Thanks to this method of communication, the child's self-esteem does not suffer, his self-esteem does not hurt, and there is no protective negative reaction.

Theory and practice

And how to motivate a child for anything, overcome resistance, without breaking it and not crushing parental authority, how to find a common language with a "difficult" teenager, overcome alienation and isolation? The book contains dozens of practical advice and real stories that clearly illustrate the solution of many typical situations. After each section homework assignments are given for practicing this or that communication method. Doing them will allow you to master practical techniques and extract them from the memory corners at the right moment.

On the question: "How to communicate with the child?" Gippenreiter Yu.B. Does not give the only true answer. She suggests thinking, improving, empathizing, learning to think outside the box, accepting the child unconditionally and first of all remembering that he is a beloved, dear and infinitely dear to you person.