How to love people around you?

In man there lives an entire universe, which is incredibly difficult to solve, and often impossible. It happens that we can not understand someone's inner world, and this, of course, is annoying. People are individual, and it's time to put up with the fact that they can not and do not want to think in synchronism with us. Do not forget that we live not in an isolated world, but in society. Hence, the ability to find an approach to each person is an invaluable ability, which any of us can acquire.

What is behind the criticism?

What is the root of the situation and how to love people? Critical assessment of members of society, as a rule, is the lack of self-confidence and hostility to its appearance. Surely you were a witness of a situation where a young girl maliciously evaluates another because of the lack of a long skirt. She necessarily compares herself and is comforted by the fact that she is still a good man: she does not allow herself to wear such "terrible" things. Or a man who does not have biceps, never recognizes the beauty of the relief body. Rather, it will demonstrate absolute disinterest and completely devalue the biceps of the other. Equal treatment of people - this is the central proof of self-confidence, real, unreasoned. Here the whole and a snag: the acceptance of others and a positive attitude towards them is a consequence of self-love (it should not be confused with selfishness!).

Mantra - all people are different, and it's wonderful. So, it is necessary to gather strength and try to heal the injured ego, and then look at the people with new eyes. It must be remembered that you are a unique copy of yourself, accordingly, it would be great to remove the mask of insecurity and understand that every person is an individual. It is necessary to allow others to be themselves.

Allow people to remove their masks

Once Bernard Verber, the French writer, is very original, but so truthfully described the need to accept people:

"Are you mad at the grass because it's green?"

- No! Not angry. What's the point of this? She will not become less green from this.

- And what's the point then to be angry with a person, because he is not what you imagine him to be?

The initial stage of making people real consists in the exclusion of one's own attachments and withdrawal from the individual world, which assumes the absolute separation of one's and another's. A person should fully feel freedom, and then give it to others. Contemplation of one's own emotions is the most important task of achieving inner harmony, because through this process a person is able to accept his thoughts and state of mind, and therefore, to understand and stop condemning his neighbors.

Disobedient emotions. How to love people through humility with your own feelings?

No one will argue with the fact that it is incredibly difficult to hide anger, mistrust, resentment and other negative feelings. But the fact is that it is completely useless to abolish their willful act: it only contributes to the huge losses of internal energy. Certainly, a person can stretch an insincere smile, talk flattering speech or give empty gifts, keeping in the heart of the poison of hatred. Therefore, the most competent move in this case is not to be afraid of hiding your emotions behind the screen of hypocrisy, which is about to fall - and troubles can not be avoided.

Undoubtedly, emotions and close to love did not stand, nevertheless they play a significant role in the mental state of each person. After all, the love of others, not justified by feelings, is to love "badly." Accordingly, it is completely illogical to try to draw warm feelings at a subconscious level and to convince oneself of a good attitude towards one's neighbor, because this is self-deception.

But do not forget that between actions and feelings there is a close relationship. Hundreds of years ago, James and Lange discovered a very useful law for modern society: emotions follow the behavior.

To love "badly," or how to love people consciously?

The ingenious way to change your negative attitude towards people is to start loving them in a "bad way". Like this? In fact, such a primitive phrase carries a deep meaning. The problem of almost every modern person is the understanding of love as a special state, which he is often unable to explain even to himself. For some reason, we think that such a magical feeling will necessarily fall from the sky - and right into the heart. It does not happen!

To love others is to first formulate this decision in your subconscious, and then confirm it with appropriate behavior. That is, love is not a static feeling - it is the result of a long work on yourself and your emotions. This is not a ready state, but a complicated way, the initial steps of which are usually ugly and clumsy, but most importantly, they are.

To love each person is possible, it is only necessary to program an individual plan of action. To begin with, you should stop avoiding unpleasant people, after which the process falls into the hands of fantasy. It is quite easy to pay attention to a person, to give him a smile, concluding in his thoughts the installation: "By the way, he is a very good person," and to do good deeds towards his neighbor, even in a one-sided way. The result of this thinking is the formation of light in the darkness of dislike, which makes a person feel warmer on the soul.

Honest attitude to your emotional state is, of course, competently. It allows you to see your own inner darkness and not live self-deception. In addition, it serves as a great way to notice the waviness of your emotions, because often we do not always love loved ones. But to love "badly" is undeniable, the best solution is to turn on the inner light and program your good attitude to the person. Do not forget that thoughts are material and the image of the interlocutor is a product of imagination. It should be remembered that a "bad" love for people will necessarily show that you have much to grow.

Black dot on white sheet

One day a young guy was sitting on a bench in an autumn park. His eyes were full of unreasonable sadness. A lovely girl passed by, who decided to inquire about the cause of this confused look. The guy did not hide that his wife had become unbearable in communication; He was very annoyed. The reaction of the girl was very unexpected: she smiled, then took a piece of paper out of her purse and drew a black dot there. "What do you see here?" She asked the young man. "Fat point," he replied in surprise. The mysterious stranger explained that the guy's problem is unwillingness to see the white sheet because of the absolute focus on the point. And in relation to people: no one is perfect, but in every person there is much more good than bad. And this is an occasion to turn a blind eye to minor shortcomings and love your neighbor, regardless of such ridiculous circumstances.

Love the man himself - and life will play in completely different colors. After all, everyone is able to create a warm feeling without convention. This can be proved by the complete acceptance of life and all its components. You in fact have reconciled with birds, trees, the sun above your head and all-all-all, so what prevents you from accepting people as they are?

Premature conclusions are often deceptive

Practically everyone has a stupid habit of making premature conclusions about this or that person, which really hinders people's love. Psychology gives good advice on this: in incomprehensible situations, you should always put yourself in the shoes of another.

If you are sure that a certain person is completely unaccustomed to gross or selfish behavior, then it is worthwhile to think about the reasons for its occurrence. Most likely, it is caused by troubles at work or in private life. In general, there are many factors of emotional incontinence, but this is not the point. The main thing is to learn how to understand a person and, if necessary, to help him, because often it happens that he screams for help with his incomprehensible behavior. It is very important at this stage to hear this call. All people are good, you should only at least superficially unravel and understand them ("love" and "understand" as synonyms).

Annoy all at a stretch? It's a problem, and it's inside

How to love people and not reach the very critical point when annoying and causing negative feelings start everything? Sometimes a person manages to find flaws in every one of the actual surroundings. He does not like a certain character trait, manner of behavior, communication or conversation, style in clothes and, finally, just presence.

This behavior in psychology is explained by a phenomenon called "trap of projection", which does not allow to love a person as it is. The fact is that each person has two aspects. The Light One is ready to fully accept and approve the behavior of the neighbor. And the shadow side of the personality is connected with the negation of oneself. Like this? A person who has fallen into this trap begins to ascribe his aspirations and intentions to other people only because he is not able to recognize them in himself at the level of consciousness. He projects his shadow part on his neighbor, and so the irritation to others is rapidly gaining momentum in direct proportion to his own negation. It must be remembered: a person is not able to notice in the neighbor those features of character that are not endowed by himself.

Erase the border between love of life and people

In the previous sections, the manifestation of love and respect for people through self-confidence was considered in detail. This factor plays a huge role, but no less important is another aspect: how to love life and people? In this chapter, the warmth towards society is defined as the result of an optimistic life position. There are people who notice only the positive aspects of life and all kinds of pleasures that they give them every day. Such people try to avoid negative moments or to turn a blind eye to them.

But after all, such a train of thought is appropriate not only in relation to love of life, but also about acceptance of others. So, in order to genuinely form a warm attitude to people inside, one must truly love all aspects of life. You should take a sleepy morning, autumn rain and even an allergy to the most favorite fruit - then you will be absolutely ready to let humanity into your life.

All love begins inside

If you are in harmony with yourself, then it will be easy for you to love a loved one. Many have the illusion that they live with their family members, colleagues, friends, lovers and at the same time build relationships with them. In fact, they live and build relationships with themselves ("I was born," "I got married," and so on). But from the evaluation of yourself depends directly on communication with others. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in his work The Little Prince led a particularly truthful dialogue, which once again proves that the inner element in the life of every happy person is the inner peace and harmony with oneself: "You are beautiful, but empty. For the sake of you do not want to die. "

Exactly! When a person develops and improves in every way, he begins to take pride in himself more and more. Thus, self-love grows in direct proportion to the enrichment of the inner world. Accordingly, the degree of love of life and humanity significantly increases, which is the final goal of a person who has not yet accepted his environment.

Staying by oneself is the decision of happy people

It's no secret that the immediate person is the happiest person. After all, if you are able to remain yourself in any situation, then for you it is absolutely irrelevant to lose energy, because it is lost only by "masked people" who are embarrassed or afraid to show themselves.

It is necessary to remember that because of the play of other people's roles one can not live their own lives, but only at the end of the path, when it will be too late. Hence, it is advisable to accept that in any case you are different from others. Trying to fix this is completely useless and even stupid, because you can use this chance wisely, then endlessly enjoy life and yourself.

Each of you should realize that, having fallen in love with the soul of man, you will discover the doors to the unknown world of harmony and well-being. Before you enter them, you will necessarily burn all the masks and with your head held high you will make the first step into a new future, where you will fully enjoy your spontaneity and mutual openness of others.