RelationsInfidelity

7 ways to understand that a loved one cheats you

Do you want to know if your chosen one deceives you? You have both reasons for such reflection, and a variety of ways to find out the truth.

Disappointing statistics

If you experience that your partner is lying to you, you may well be right - a lie is much more common than we would like. Sometimes it's not just a lie for good or a misunderstanding, but a serious deception related to your relationship or betrayal. Unfortunately, there is no scientific way to determine if your chosen one is changing you. Nevertheless, you can easily determine when he is cheating. Here are seven ways with which you can determine whether he is hiding something important from you.

Ask friends

Other people, sometimes even strangers, often easily notice when something is wrong with someone's relationship. Psychologists use a test in which the couple must create a drawing together. One participant draws blindfolded, and another helps him with instructions. Everything that happens is recorded on the camera. Before the beginning of the experiment, participants are asked to answer several questions about the relationship, including whether there has ever been a betrayal. After that, the researchers gave a tape with a recording of the drawing process to strangers, who had to guess which pair was cheating. Surprisingly, the volunteers guessed incredibly accurately. This study suggests that sometimes it can be quite easy to look at the interaction of partners to feel betrayal or conflict. People make surprisingly accurate conclusions about others in a variety of situations, and for this even a very short observation is enough. At least, that's the conclusion scientists came to. If you start to suffer serious doubts that everything is in order in your relationship, the advice of friends or relatives can help you.

Pretend that nothing is happening, and watch

People often quite badly assess the behavior of other people, especially when they try to do it consciously. If you have the opportunity to observe someone's behavior for longer, it will be much easier for you to understand if you are deceiving you. In 2013, a team of scientists conducted an experiment in which students were supposed to observe people giving testimony in court, and after determining whether these people were telling the truth or lying. Students who were given longer to think before making a verdict, coped with the task of determining liars much better. Human consciousness does not always cope with the separation of truth and lies. In order to assess the situation, it takes time. If you are concerned or worried, you should just give yourself the opportunity to navigate - perhaps strange behavior was a temporary phenomenon associated with stress or other life circumstances. If you eventually gain the confidence that you are being deceived, you will have a more solid reason to understand the relationship.

Carefully follow the choice of words

In a recent study, Professor of Psychology, James Pennebaker, analyzed the data collected by the text evaluation program. It was found that there are certain formulations that signal that the speaker is trying to hide the truth. For example, liars rarely use personal pronouns, do not say "I think" or "I understand," and also use "but" and "except" less often. In addition, they often use negative words, for example, "anger" or "enemy", as well as verbs that describe the movement. Of course, all this is relevant only if the manner of communication has somehow changed - if your partner has always preferred hard phrases and did not talk too much about his feelings, such words may not signal about anything.

Listen to the sound of the voice

Canadian researchers recently asked a group of volunteers to listen to several recordings of voices and assess how attractive one or the other sounds. After that, the scientists asked to assess how high the probability that one or another person would be wrong to his partner. Female volunteers most often noted that men with a low voice are more likely to change, while male volunteers, on the contrary, felt that women would change more often if they possess a high timbre. According to the study, men with higher testosterone levels have lower voices - and it is the high level of testosterone that is associated with the likelihood of treason. However, scientists could not explain why people got a psychological awareness of this. In the future, they will study this fact, but for now you can simply evaluate the voice of your partner and on this basis understand whether he is inclined to betrayal at all - the timbre will tell you about it.

Pay attention to social networks

If your partner spends more time with his mobile phone than with you, it can be suspicious. Studies have shown that people who are very active in social networks are more likely to experience unfaithfulness, separation or divorce. According to scientists, most people spend in social networks no more than an hour. Those who use social networks for a longer time often quarrel with their partners, change or divorce. The longer the time spent in the social network, the worse the effect for the relationship. However, this does not mean that the phone leads to treason, but nevertheless, there is some connection. If you have a similar problem in your relationship, it's time for a serious conversation with your partner. Harmless at first glance, the habit of sitting on the Internet can ruin your life together in the future, even if no betrayal happens.

Watch for sudden changes in behavior

If you have been in a relationship for quite a long time, you most likely already know how your partner behaves in normal circumstances - that he likes to eat, how he reacts to tests and surprises, whether he is a good listener and so on. Sharp changes in body language, facial expressions, speech patterns, and others can be signals of dual behavior - as scientists believe, specializing in identifying deceivers during detective investigations. The human body shows certain signals if it is nervous and feels tension - which is exactly what happens when a person lies. Learn to recognize them and you will be much easier to navigate in what they say to you, because you will notice the truth or lie even without words.

Pay attention to silence, repetition or negative reaction

There is a clear sign of a lie - a sudden refusal to talk. When a person seems to be deprived of language, this can happen because the nervous system automatically reacts to stress, and the mouth dries up. Another sign is a negative reaction even to quite innocent questions. Finally, people who lie, often repeat the question asked before they start answering it - most likely, in order to give themselves time to come up with an answer. If you notice any of these signs for your partner, this can be considered a sufficient basis for suspicion. Quick conclusions should not be made, but it is definitely not necessary to turn a blind eye to what is happening.

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