Why do men cheat on their wives, but do not leave? Relationship in the family: psychology

Today on the agenda is a very important question: "Why do men change wives, but do not go away?" This causes serious scandals and the severance of relations. To survive, understand and forgive the betrayal of the spouse is very difficult, to start the relationship from scratch, without turning back to what happened, even more difficult. Today we will talk about the causes of adultery. This will help you to see the harbingers of trouble and take timely measures. In fact, betrayal - this is not the end of the relationship, you just need to find the strength for frank conversation and the desire to together go through this difficult period.

Relationship in the family

When young people marry, it seems to them that happiness will last forever. But a year passes, then another, small quarrels accumulate, there are first disappointments. The partner does not look so perfect anymore. Nevertheless, it is important for a man to feel a quiet, safe harbor, a reliable berth. This is an explanation of why men change wives, but do not go away. The wife is a stability, a special status, reliability, warmth and comfort of the native hearth. A mistress is an adventure, which is so good that it ends. To go to her is to break your life and start building anew from scratch. At the same time, a man understands that becoming a wife, a mistress will lose a special charm, so attractive today.

Treason is a complex phenomenon that can have many causes. Often a man does not cease to love his wife, he still wants a relationship with her. He diligently hides the connection on the side, is ashamed of it, but can not resist the temptation. Let's look at the main reasons why men change wives, but do not go away.

Opinion of specialists

One of the first reasons experts call physiology. Men are polygamous by nature, they crave sexual diversity and a large number of partners. Socium tabooes such desires, promoting adultery, but instincts do not disappear anywhere. This explains why men change wives, but do not go away. They biologically programmed the need to leave as many as possible offspring, and for this you need to have many partners. But this is not the only reason. According to Western sociologists, 99% of the changes are committed simply because of the banal boredom, the monotony of life. There are a number of other reasons that push a man toward this, we'll talk about them later.

Serious changes

A situation familiar to the pain. A woman before marriage entered on visits with an ideal hairdo, manicure, watched her diet and weight, and now she walks around the house in a stretched T-shirt. This is especially true for those couples where a woman does not work. Housewives are more prone to depression due to the monotony and home routine, and for a man there is nothing more terrible than coming home, where a woman, wearing a shabby dressing-gown, is gloomy like a cloud. Of course, relations in the family play an important role. The psychology of people is that the more attention one person pays to another, the more warmth and affection he receives in return. Therefore, if a man instead of looking for entertainment on the side, will often say compliments, invite his wife to see him and make gifts, the more chances to see again the radiance of loving eyes, a romantic dinner and a new dress on his beloved.

Nobody understands me

Indeed, very often men who cheat on their wives say they do not understand them. But in fact it sounds strange, as if a woman can completely unravel his mysterious nature from the first meeting. The point is that you need to patiently build relationships in the family. The psychology of people is such that only primary love is given to us in advance, at the expense of a hormonal surge. Then we will have to make efforts to bring true love. To do this, you need to learn how to communicate, listen and hear, solve problems within the family, pronounce everything that does not suit you. Then you will not have to seek consolation on your side.

Excitement, risk, a sense of novelty

The psychology of the changing man is such that he feels at this moment a hunter. Ancient instincts awake, a pleasant sense of danger and violation of the prohibition. All this titillates nerves, excites imagination, gives tremendous sensations. This is akin to drug intoxication: when the fuse passes, you want to return it. However, the sensations become dull and you need to look for something new, brighter, and so on ad infinitum. A happy family is one in which the spouses are able to find new sensations within their own relationships.

It is necessary to work on relations

Psychologists believe that every woman can support the spark of passion in the family. In addition, this is her direct task. It is necessary not only for men, monotony and life are destructive for both partners. New clothes and clothes in the wardrobe of a woman should appear regularly, it's bad that a man who, without providing for a family, demands that the wife be well-groomed. And you can think of a lot of ways to revive your past passion. Invite your spouse to a rented apartment, leaving the children in the care of your grandmother. Believe me, a happy family is worth the effort. Romantic dinner and erotic massage, attention signs - these are all tools that can be used to "prevent" adultery. But psychologists say that there is the most important and reliable means: before entering the house after work, stop for a minute. You need to breathe deeply and exhale at least 5 times, while mentally saying goodbye to work, current problems and worries. Imagine the image of a beloved man, and such as you saw him in the happiest moments of your family life. Do you want more of these moments? Try to feel again those feelings that you experienced then, smile and enter the house.

Treason without explanation

The psychology of a changing man is complex enough. Sometimes he himself can not explain why he is so drawn to the left. It seems that there are no obvious prerequisites, everything is fine at home, but all the same he persistently spends time and money searching for new relationships. Perhaps he married too early, and it seems to him that he has not yet had time to walk up. Either the call of ancient instincts makes him again and again become a hunter and collector. In any case, women can recognize this "macho" even at the beginning of the relationship. Just observe how he behaves on the street and in a room where there are many beautiful women. If even now, when there is an ardent passion between you, he still tries to priudarit for other young ladies, then it will only get worse.

Just sex

As already mentioned, men are polygamous by nature. It's not so important what kind of a woman a figure - if she appears daily in front of a man naked, then ceases to excite him. This object is conquered, it's time to move on. Not all researchers agree with this statement, but nevertheless many adhere to this point of view. If a man is monogamous, it is only because he realizes that friendship and love are more important things than a casual connection on the side.

What is the goal of treason

Why do men change? For them, sex and love are two big differences. A man can love his wife and have sexual relations with other female figures. More often these are not permanent, but one-time meetings. This separation of love and sex allows a man to easily change and not feel guilty. Although the latter is questionable. The guilt comes later and is not due to the very fact of sex, but the possible consequences. What happens if the wife finds out? Will he be pursued by chance? And there is a risk of catching one of the sexually transmitted diseases. There is a chance that, having weighed everything that he got from his adventure, a man will forever become a monogamous family man. To not be too late, even before going on a date, imagine the worst case scenario. For example, your casual friend will tell your wife about what happened. The fact of betrayal, presented in this way, is very difficult to survive. Is it worth it?

Rights and obligations of the parties

It is very interesting to know how many percent of men change. In different sources, figures from 70 to 90% of the total male population of the Earth are reported. Impressive, is not it? This is due to the physiological need of men for sex. It is much higher than that of women. In addition, the load on the beautiful floor is very high. A woman works at work, performs a large number of household duties, cares for children. As a result, very tired by the evening. You do not have the strength to intimacy, and bored by the computer, the husband stays to the left? Obviously, the problem has matured so much that it's time to solve it. Sit down at the negotiating table. A man complains about the lack of sex? Okay, write down all your duties related to home, family, children, and ask him to take exactly half. Ask if he agrees with the prospect of fully providing for the family, that you are at home and have time to do the home front of work for his arrival? Divide all the burdens of the family burden in half, and both will become easier.

How to understand that a man changes

In fact, this is not difficult at all. Just watch every day for your soul mate. If a man starts to stay on a regular basis at work, vaguely explaining the reasons, he often has business on weekends and even on holidays there are urgent orders, then it's worthwhile to take a closer look. Does he wear his phone everywhere, go to another room, if he is called, is he nervous if you pick up the phone? All these are indirect signs that he has something to hide. Analyze your budget, does it have any more unplanned costs?

What to do if a man changes

Rolling scandals and quarrels to anything, even if you are 100% sure that you are right in your suspicions. Another mistake is an attempt to find his mistress and see if he has exchanged you, or to take revenge. Often an offended woman decides to change too in revenge - this step is also better to postpone. While you only need one thing - it will be uttered, it will work out your emotions. For this, a friend or a professional psychologist is suitable. Only after experiencing the first shock, you can think about what decision to make. Not always divorce - the best way out, in some cases you can survive betrayal and continue the relationship. The help of a family psychologist will not be superfluous.

Let's sum up the results

We examined the main causes of treason. Now you know how many men change wives. Statistics are ruthless, she practically puts the entire male population on the list of ladies' lovers. In fact, this is not the case, most of them, just like women, appreciate their relationship and are not ready to risk them for the sake of a momentary hobby. In any case, forewarned - means armed. If you have an idea of the causes and signs of adultery, then you will do everything possible to avoid it.