Self improvementPsychology

What is flattery and how to explain a person's behavior from a psychological point of view

What is flattery? Can you flatter and for what purpose do you do it? Let's philosophize and a little bit into the world of psychology.

What is flattery? "Flattery is a verbal perfume," said the legendary Coco Chanel. And it's really so. In the explanatory dictionary of Dahl, it is pointed out that flattery is an insincere approval in order to achieve the tasks set. I think everyone knows this, but are everyone able to recognize flattery without confusing it with a sincere recognition of your merits? No? Do you know why? The reason lies in our psychology. I'll explain now.

Remember from the basic knowledge of economics Maslow pyramid, which presents all human needs, depending on their significance. For us, incredibly important:

  • Physiological needs ;
  • security;
  • Affiliation and love;
  • respect;
  • Cognition;
  • Aesthetic needs ;
  • Self-actualization.

The most ordinary person can easily reach all points except the last. But in order to fully self-fulfilling, it is necessary to exert enough effort and patience, that by far not everyone can.

If you are not everyone's recognized personality, and nature requires its own, our subconscious mind finds a way out: we begin to exert our significance as much as our conscience allows us. Here, flattery comes on the stage. In my opinion, Jean-Baptiste Moliere spoke very well in his work "Miserly": "If there is no other means, it's not the one who flatterers who is to blame, but the one who wants to be flattered."

This once again confirms the idea that sometimes even crude flattery works wonders in communicating with those who are so thirsty for recognition that they are ready to disregard the warnings of the inner voice about the insincerity of the speakers. So what is flattery - evil or good?

Flattery is cheap praise, in other words, saying out loud what your interlocutor thinks about himself.

What does flattery mean in the world of decision making?

Dale Carnegie, Sigmund Freud and other well-known psychologists have proved that the only way to convince someone to do something is to give him the opportunity to want to do it. And the most effective way is skillful flattery.

Historical documents show that all the great rulers were sensitive to flattery, and thanks to this vicious feeling, history was not created by them. As an example I want to bring Queen Victoria, the last representative of the Hanover dynasty. During her reign, Disraeli, who was the most exquisite flatterer during the entire existence of the British Empire, had a huge influence on her decisions.

I do not at all encourage you to practice flattery in your daily life. On the contrary, it is undesirable. What is flattery? This is a fake, which, like fake money or works of art, will never bring you to the good. I foresee your thoughts: "What should I do then?" Everything is simple, and again explained by human psychology.

A person 95% of his time is occupied with thoughts about himself. It is worth a little distraction, and you can easily consider in your interlocutor positive qualities, worthy of admiration. Do not hesitate to talk about them, for your part it will be a sincere recognition of him as a person who has succeeded in some spheres.

After reading the above thoughts, you yourself should come to the conclusion that such flattery and whether it is worth using it? Or maybe, still try to see something good in an interesting person to you?

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