Have you ever noticed that good people are often not respected? They help others, are patient, do not harbor grievances, but for some reason they constantly feel frustrated and lonely. Psychologists believe that the reason for this are mistakes in the behavior of such people. Today we will help you to understand them.
Useless self-sacrifice
You ignore your own needs for the sake of others, but the world simply does not notice it. And even if people insult you, you consider yourself guilty. This approach will inevitably lead to the fact that people will upset you again and again. Do not be afraid to tell the world if you do not like something. This will help attract people with the same interests as you. On the other hand, unnecessary self-sacrifice most often no one notices.
Lack of self-esteem
You do not seem to feel when other people are rude to you, or just close your eyes to these "little inconveniences". But a man who is gross by nature will never love or respect you for it. So why do you continue to put up with it? If someone behaves as if he does not care about you, then this is really true. Do not seek excuses for rude people. Respect yourself.
You depend on the approval of others
People who have a pathological need for approval from others subconsciously give out signals that something is wrong with them. But others do not want to communicate with people who are different from them. Stop waiting for praise. You do not need to hear about how good you are to be really. And do not be afraid of criticism. People will criticize you for almost everything for one reason or another. Your opinion of yourself should always be the most important.
You are looking for a source of problems only within yourself
You automatically think that everyone around you is right, except when it comes to yourself. You think that you are responsible for everything that happens around you. Remember that no one will thank you for this, but can take advantage of you and make your life even more difficult. The search for the guilty is an ungrateful task. It will not bring you either love or pity. Better concentrate your efforts on finding a solution to the problem.
Boasting
If you constantly try to emphasize your dignity and ask for respect, then you are in a dependent relationship. The more you try to convince others that you are a good person, the more often you will receive a refusal. Even if you really are.
You can show others that you are worth something only if you truly believe in it. If you know your own worth, you will not need to prove it to anyone.
Fear of failure
You do not want to upset anyone, even if it is related to your inconvenience. You pretend that everything is in order, so that others do not worry, if something does not suit you. As a result, you are very often unhappy with what is going on around you.
Do not be afraid to say no. Even the best people in the world can try to use you if you let them. Help others only if you really want it.
Ignoring Your Interests
You are accustomed to adapting to the needs of others, so it is difficult for you to understand your own desires. You yourself can not decide what to do, so always listen to the opinion from the outside. If you are not able to make decisions and feel helpless, other people are unlikely to be able to respect you. Learn to listen to your own desires and do not be afraid that you can offend others. Most likely, your fears are far from reality, and you can always find a compromise.
You can not define the boundaries of the permitted
You always forgive others, because it's easier to do than stand up for yourself. Even if others disrespect you, you find an excuse for them. It is very important to define your own boundaries of acceptable behavior so as not to allow others to overstep them in relation to you. People who solve everything do not cause respect.
Fear of loneliness
You transform your relationship into a cult, sacrificing yourself. Moreover, by doing this, you feel comfortable. Perhaps that's why you only meet hooligans, daffodils and egoists, because you allow yourself to use.
Do not choose between your relationship and self-esteem. If you need to make this choice, then something went wrong. Be brave and do not be afraid of change. Think of loneliness as freedom, and you will never be left with yourself for long.
You think that you need to earn respect
You agree that respect must be the result of actions or behavior. As a result, you do not feel comfortable if your relationship with someone is equal, because you are firmly convinced that respect should be earned. You think that a person has value only if they have done something.
The truth is that love or respect can not be "bought". Learn to unconditionally love and be loved, and then your relationships with other people will become much easier.