Personal space - take care of yourself and respect others

Personal space means a special territory that separates us from the world around us. This is a kind of protective shell that allows you to feel the boundaries of your personality and protect them.

At first glance, this is purely an animal instinct - to designate its territory and in every possible way to protect it from invasion. But in people this need is also present - at the genetic level. And since we are united also by social ties, the personal space of a person is not only literally spatial, but also social.

Our personal space we always "carry with us" and very reluctantly let in uninvited guests. At the end of the sixties of the last century a new direction appeared - proximics, which studied nonverbal signals, through which people use to communicate the surrounding space.

According to this theory, the entire personal space of communication can be divided into four main zones, the boundaries of which are determined by the degree of intimacy that exists between people. And the basic law of communication can be formulated as follows: the distance between people directly depends on the proximity between them.

1. Zone of intimacy

Approximation is allowed from 15 to 45 cm. This is the most important zone, the boundaries of which are guarded most zealously. In this zone, we let in only the closest people with whom we are connected by intimate or family-related relationships. This includes people with whom we have the closest emotional contact, or we just want to establish such a connection with them. Therefore, when we completely focus on a person while communicating with him, we involuntarily move to him as close as possible.

In our crowded world, we are too often forced to let in strangers by their public intimacy - in public transport, in line, in a movie theater or in a concert hall. At the same time, we have unconscious anxiety due to excessive intimacy of strangers. In fact - it responds to the patrimonial memory, which signals a danger: "Beware, this is a stranger." Therefore, in order to avoid a typical neurosis because of life in a metropolis and not cause aggression towards oneself from others, it is necessary to observe several rules: try not to touch people standing side by side, not to consider long strangers, that is not to violate the basic rules of non-verbal communication.

2. Zone of personal intimacy

The maximum convergence in this zone is from half a meter to 80 centimeters, that is - the distance of the outstretched arm. In this zone, we allow familiar people with whom we do not have a special personal relationship. For example, this includes people with whom we communicate at a party, at parties and at official events.

The minimum convergence in this zone is up to 130 cm. So, for example, we communicate with acquaintances by meeting them on the street.

3. Zone of social contact

The maximum approach in this zone is allowed from one and a half to two meters, and the minimum contact is from two to three and a half meters. This distance allows us to communicate comfortably for solving business issues. This includes official contacts (in the store, at the post office, etc.), meetings with casual acquaintances at various events.

4. Public distance

This zone exists within three and a half to five meters from the person and represents a classical distance for dialogue of the teacher with the pupils, the chief with subordinates, the teacher with students.

This is what concerns directly the comfortable spatial distance relative to another person. But the concept of personal space can also be of a purely social nature and denote the boundaries of the individual - habits, tastes, personal time, secrets, loneliness. This is especially important when a man and woman meet, live together, build a family. Very often, relations fall apart precisely because one partner becomes "too much," so the other has to step aside to again feel the boundaries of his personality.

How can we preserve the personal space in the relationship so that closeness and freedom peacefully coexist under one roof? Proximity implies loyalty to each other, responsibility and the desire to help your partner. And what does freedom mean in this case?

First, it is necessary to spend some time separately. For example, it can be time spent on a hobby or personal development.

Secondly, even in a common apartment, everyone should have a personal corner in which one can be alone.

Thirdly, one can not demand from the partner full openness in all thoughts and events of his life. Personal space is disrupted by reading other people's letters, digging in the phone, round the clock monitoring, where it is, what it does, what it eats and what your partner thinks at this moment.

It is extremely uncomfortable for a person to feel that his partner "dissolved" in him. And most similarly, "dissolve" is also dangerous, because one's choice, and with him and yourself, you can lose at any time for different reasons. So do not lose yourself and respect the personal space of your close people.