Hatred of men: the psychology of relations between men and women

Not every woman will find the courage to admit that she feels hatred for men. Nevertheless, as psychologists say, it is not uncommon. This unpleasant feeling prevents to build romantic, friendly and working relationships with the opposite sex. And only after understanding yourself, you can get rid of these shackles.

How it's called?

Hatred of men has a completely scientific name. Misandria is an established term that denotes hostility or prejudice towards members of the stronger sex. More often you can hear the word "misogyny", which can take pathological forms. Misandria can become a subject of paranoia, and can serve as an occasion for moral or physical violence against the object of hatred.

The Psychological Aspect

Someone may seem incomprehensible and unnatural female hatred towards men. Psychology provides a completely logical explanation for this phenomenon. It has historical and even genetic roots. Except for those cultures where matriarchy reigned, the woman was always in the shadow of a man. Her rights were oppressed in every possible way. Her lot was to raise children and housekeeping. Despite the fact that women have equal rights with men for quite a long time, genetic memory makes itself felt. Just as some men consider themselves to be the main ones, so some women consider themselves to be oppressed. This is the primary reason for the hatred and confrontation of the sexes.

Look for the reason in the father

Women's hatred of men is often formed in childhood. As practice shows, girls who were lucky enough to have a good and caring father easily build relationships with the opposite sex. They have some inner sense of security. In such women, a man is associated with love, care, protection. Moreover, they do not so painfully perceive failures and disappointments, because they are sure that there are worthy men in the world, similar to their fathers.

"I hate muzhiks," - most often they say women who have a difficult relationship in the family. Perhaps since childhood they have seen scandals, male cruelty, alcohol abuse and other troubles. Also, negative experience forms the withdrawal of the father from the family. It would seem that all this was in childhood and should not interfere with adult life. But it is at this age that the outlook is formed, which determines the relationship with others. A woman subconsciously begins to fear the recurrence of the script.

Someone else's experience

Hatred of men is often biased. Women have a bad habit of trying on someone else's experience. During the gatherings, the "bitter female share" is discussed in detail. Having heard from friends, colleagues, relatives and just strangers about betrayal, bullying, deceit, the girls cultivate a sense of confidence that all men are the same. "If everyone faces difficulties, then what am I better at?" This is a huge misconception.

Yes, people like to talk about problems. But this does not mean that they are all unhappy in their family life. Probably, it is accepted to be silent about happiness not because it is not there, but because women are afraid of jinxing it. In addition, the fate of each person is unique and unique.

Own negative experience

It happens that you get a rotten apple or an overdue chocolate, and you feel dislike for this product for a long time. Sometimes hatred for men is formed on the same principle. Young girls and quite mature women often fall in love "not with those" men. Having received negative experience, they begin to feel hatred for the rest of the male representatives. Unfortunately, this is a fairly common phenomenon, from which not only the ladies themselves suffer, but also their gentlemen, who receive a negative response.

High expectations

The woman says that she hates men because they do not justify her expectations. Perhaps, from the youthful age, the beautiful half of mankind has a certain idea of the ideal companion of life. Sometimes it is a collective image, which consists of heroes of novels and serials, celebrities and businessmen. Trying out the given parameters to others, you find out that there are no ideal ones. As a result, a woman gradually develops disappointment and hatred - a bad feeling that does not allow to live normally and enjoy romantic relationships.

It's one step from love to hatred...

If a woman has never had any prejudices, prejudices and fears towards men, this does not mean that relations with the opposite sex will develop smoothly. No wonder they say that from love to hatred one step. Even the strongest relationship can give a break, and a woman may have a feeling of hatred for a man who yesterday was the most beloved. Reasons for this may be the following:

• Denial of a man's female dignity. This can manifest itself in numerous changes that the man does not even try to hide. Another humiliating situation is a comparison with previous partners. Hearing that the former was better in bed, in the kitchen, and outwardly won, no lady will be able to keep tender feelings for her faithful.
• Physical and moral violence. At the stage of courtship and building relationships, men are usually gallant and caring. Nevertheless, as people begin to build a common life and get used to each other, a person can show himself completely differently. So, if during domestic quarrels a man starts using force to prove his rightness, it is difficult to keep love for him. Also, manifestations of rudeness and aggression can migrate to an intimate life.
• If a man attaches too much importance to someone else's opinion, soon this will negatively affect relations. If he consults with friends, colleagues, relatives, and not with his wife, it will certainly become an excuse for dislike.
• The phrase "I hate you" is often told to their husbands by those women who are trying to drive in tight frames. If a representative of the stronger sex forces his wife to dress, talk, build a line of behavior so that she likes friends or relatives, this is an unhealthy relationship. A woman will either lose her individuality, or begin to accumulate anger at her husband.
• Fortunately, there are many such examples, when a man retains all his positive qualities during family life. But even here there can be a place of hatred on the part of a woman. The reason most often is a new love or a man you like. Then all the virtues of the spouse begin to literally annoy. In this case, you need to give yourself time. Either new feelings will disperse, and everything will return to its place, or the only way out will be parting.
• Excessive workload is another reason to negatively concern the spouse. Cooking, cleaning, caring for children, country chores - all this and much more falls on the women's shoulders. It does not matter whether the woman works or the role of the breadwinner lies with her husband. Not having a minute of free time, which can be spent on yourself, the woman begins to hate her husband quietly, who refuses to take on even a small part of the household chores.

At the girlfriend it is better ...

The woman's hatred of a man is not always caused by objective factors. Some ladies have a bad habit of comparing themselves with their girlfriends, neighbors, relatives. Naturally, men are the first to fall under the blow. My husband is not so handsome, not so rich, not as masterful, but just not like the others. This is what makes a woman hate a wife. Although this is silly, but female psychology is as follows.

I hate my husband - what can I do?

Most romantic films and love books end with a wedding. But, as practice shows, in real life, after the wedding, a completely new period begins with its subtleties and difficulties. Quite suddenly a woman can confess to herself: "I hate my husband." What to do? Psychologists give such recommendations:

• First you need to calm down and carefully analyze the situation. Do you have to understand whether hatred is a feeling or an emotion? It is possible that this is some kind of turbidity caused by a strong quarrel or misconduct of the spouse. Relax, relax, and everything will pass. If hatred is a red thread through your relationship and does not have a specific motive, most likely the union can not be saved.
• Imagine that tomorrow you will divorce and continue your life without a spouse. Moreover, you will never see him again. How do you like this prospect? If you have felt fear, anguish and even panic, urgently put up with your husband, try together to find a way out. If such fantasies brought you peace and relief, then your union has outlived itself.
• Learn to forgive. Hatred is a bad feeling that destroys a person from within. Think, are the misdeeds of your faithful so serious to keep him angry? Divide a piece of paper into two parts and write down all the faults and good deeds of your lover. Perhaps, the positive qualities will outweigh.
• Do not look for faults in the wife. Pay attention only to its positive qualities (namely, for what you love it for). If there are negative features with which you can not reconcile, try to solve the problem together, and not blame the lover.
• Learn to discuss problems. The longer you remain silent, the more grievances and hatred will accumulate in your soul. At the same time, the dialogue should be conducted gently, giving the spouse the opportunity to express his point of view. If you take this practice as a rule, then you will forget about family scandals, because all disagreements will be resolved through constructive dialogue.
• Do not hurry. Surrendering to the momentary impulse, you can make an irreparable mistake. It is better to give each other some time for reconciliation, than to regret the premature rupture of the relationship.

Is it worth living in an atmosphere of tension and hatred?

If you ever said to your man: "I hate you!" - this is not just a surge of emotion. This means that this feeling has been living in you for a long time. This is evidence of a crisis of relations, from which it is not always possible to find a way out. As a rule, in such situations, the spouses try to give their relationship a second life, breathing more romance into them. As a rule, these are joint romantic trips, trips to restaurants and other pleasant things that you can do together. But, unfortunately, resentment and hatred for a man persists, despite all efforts.

At this point, you need to answer yourself to the question of whether it is worth living in an atmosphere of tension and hatred. Think about the motives that make you continue to try to maintain such a relationship? Children, money, equipped life, a habit - all these factors are not worth it to spend their lives on such an alliance? Perhaps parting will be the only way out that will bring you peace and give a chance for personal happiness.

Little female experience

How often do women say the word "hate"? The former, the present and absolutely extraneous men. The representatives of the fair sex explain their dislike for the opposite sex as follows:

• A man dissolves his hands, not embarrassed by the presence of children;
• The spouse brings the woman to hysterics and nervous breakdowns when they are alone, but in public they try to seem like an ideal family man;
• The husband does not respect women's work (he lies on the couch in front of the TV while his wife is off her feet, trying to maintain order in the house);
• If, despite the many indulgences that a wife makes to her husband, he continues to be a tyrant, he must leave without fear of becoming a single mother;
• A man humiliates a woman on the basis of sex, considering her a lower being;
• All his failures and shortcomings a man imputes to his wife;
• He does nothing in the house (he does not care about repairs, old plumbing, broken rosettes);
• A man speculates in financial terms and the fact that a woman is financially dependent on him;
• He changes, without even trying to hide it (moreover, amorous adventures are considered a matter of pride);
• After entering into family life, a man ceases to treat the woman with respect to a woman, does not give her gifts, does not bring her out, does not pay attention;
• Is cruel to children.

How to forgive a former and stop hating him

How to get rid of hatred of men? If this feeling is caused by resentment of your former, you need, as one well-known song says, "forgive and let go." On the way to this goal you will have to take the following steps:

• Understand the reasons for your hatred. If it's hard for you, state your claims to the former in writing. For each item, make an addition, describing your feelings. This will help to throw out negative emotions and to ease the state of mind.
• Remember what expectations and dreams were associated with your ex. Have they all come true? Mentally thank him for everything that has come true. And those desires that have remained unrealized, make the goal of a further full life.
• Try to understand his motivation. Put yourself in the place of the former and mentally scroll in your head all the critical moments of your relationship. It is possible that you will not find excuses for his behavior, but at least partially can understand.
• Forgive yourself. Your hatred for the former is not only an insult to unjustified expectations, but also a fear of a repeat of the script. Forgive yourself for this weakness and allow yourself to live a new free life.
• Check yourself. Imagine that you met your ex on the street or in the company of friends. Can you talk to him as if there were no grudges and hatred? If so, then you are ready for a new life full of vivid sensations and romantic feelings.
• When the passion subsides, be sure to talk with your ex. Tell him about all the experiences that haunted you during life together and after parting. Ask him for the same frankness. Perhaps this conversation will be a good lesson for both of you, which will save you from mistakes in future relationships.
• Do a final self-examination. Perhaps, conflict situations, such as those that have arisen with your ex, you have experienced before. Let it become for you a science for the future. Never repeat the previous mistakes and do not allow the recurrence of such scenarios.

Men also hate

The strongest feeling is hatred. It can destroy even the most sincere love and passionate passion. Sometimes the hatred between the sexes is mutual. One stream of negative energy is provoked by the counter. Thus, counting on mutual understanding with the opposite sex, it is worthwhile to know why a man can hate his woman:

• Excessive passion and initiative. Fervent caresses, as in adult films, are not really pleasant for a man. This should be a rare exception, not a tradition. Still, the strong sex wants to show initiative, not obey.
• Manipulation of intimacy is not just annoying men, but literally leading them out of themselves. First of all, this is not so lonely as married. If a woman, at the slightest disagreement, "avenges" by the lack of intimacy, is a direct way to mutual hatred.
• Most men hate women who build themselves out of touch and modest. Of course, we are not talking about rushing to the neck of the representatives of the stronger sex at the first acquaintance. But if the relationship has moved to a more serious stage, the behavior of a "nun" or "blue stocking" can simply insult a man and even form complexes in it.
• Men do not tolerate women who are biased against the strong sex, believing that they have only one thing on their mind. This is a kind of humiliation and a charge of narrow-mindedness. Thinking about men in this way, you hardly need to count on respectful and reverent attitude to yourself.
• Men hate women who shift the whole load of responsibility for joint happiness and well-being to them. These are some "princesses on a pea," who are waiting for their beloved active actions, without making any steps to meet them.
• Men do not like women who are not sure of their appearance. Have you noticed that self-critical beauties are less likely to be happier in their personal lives than self-confident ladies, whom nature has not awarded with such outstanding data? If you do not love yourself and constantly focus on your flaws, a man sooner or later will believe in your "unattractiveness."
• Another factor of hatred is the refusal to take care of yourself after a while after the beginning of the relationship. Many ladies, thinking that they have already got a man, relax. They stop wearing beautiful underwear, feminine clothes. Moreover, allow yourself to walk with unwashed head and groomed nails. Naturally, a man does not want to be with such a woman, because of which there are mutual insults and hatred.
• Like ladies, men are transferred from their childhood to their opposite sex. If he had a troubled relationship with his mother, some other relative, or even a schoolteacher, most likely he would harbor anger to the whole beautiful floor.

Conclusion

Man and woman are created in order to live in love and harmony, to build joint happiness and educate children. It sounds so beautiful that the hatred between the sexes seems unnatural. Nevertheless, the beautiful half of humanity often experiences this unpleasant emotion. But do not blame them for it. It is possible that the causes of this phenomenon lie deep in the mind. A difficult childhood, a guilty man, psychological problems and many other factors can lead to hatred for men. With this feeling you can and must fight.