Is it true that Christianity told us about sex and marriage?

Christianity often imposes certain values in matters of marriage, and especially in matters of sex. However, the society has changed for a long time, it has become more open, so now such values are irrelevant. What kind of falsehood do Christians continue to impose?

Virginity is a biological event

Once you have sex, you stop being a virgin - at least, this is what you are asked to believe in the church. And in fact, for many ecclesiastical faiths, there is a clear line between what was before penetration, and what became after, which defines the notion of virginity. But what kind of sex is it? Is oral sex in this case considered? What about anal sex? Or is it only about heterosexual intercourse? In fact, the idea of virginity as a biological event has its drawbacks, it is only a social construct that functions to further maintain the purity of culture. Virginity does not exist as a one-time biological event. In fact, its loss is the process of moving from the moment in which you have no sexual experience, further in life, and this process has several stages. It is much more logical to say that virginity exists as a concept that helps to determine the level of your sexual experience than to say that this is a biological event.

Marriage automatically makes sex perfect for everyone

Sex can be wonderful after the wedding. But it can also be pretty bad. Yes, your wedding night can be an awkward and unsightly sexual experience, but there's nothing wrong with that. Good sex requires closeness, trust, transparency of relationships, and mutual satisfaction. These things can be achieved outside of marriage, but they can also be significantly strengthened by marriage. Despite what many Christians say, believing in the Bible will not make your sex life automatically beautiful. Sex does not become miraculous right after you put your signature on the marriage certificate and receive the blessing of the priest.

Sex is for heterosexual people of different sex only

Everyone heard it more than once: "If a man lays down with another man - he is disgusting." Many churches still adhere to theology, condemning the closeness of people of the same sex and punishing people of non-traditional orientation, which do not correspond to the ethical standards of the church. Similarly, it is also said that sex is intended only for heterosexual people of different sexes, completely excluding the possibility of sexual activity among all participants of the LGBT community. Even transgender people no longer have the right to have sex, according to the church. Recently, the opinion of one of the churches that transgenderity is an exquisite form of homosexuality was published.

If you have not married before a certain age, you have problems

In some parts of the Christian world, people are seriously pressured, focused on finding a partner for life, until they are 25 years old. This pressure is so great that some people feel desperate, if they can not find a pair before this sinister date. Mark Regnerus wrote in 2009: "In our attempts to impose purity and chastity, we forgot to teach young Christians how to properly bind themselves by marriage." The arguments in favor of early marriage focus on fertility and idealize the biblical definition of heterosexual marriage and fidelity. However, there is no established age in which you need to get married or get married. You may be 26 years old, you may not have a partner and be ready for an adventure of love, and there will be no problems with this.

Sex before marriage makes you a "damaged product"

Nobody is a "damaged product". It does not matter how many times you have had sex - it does not make you a "damaged product". This lie is especially dangerous for those who have experienced sexual abuse in the past. The representatives of the movement of purity have a deep fear that if you "give yourself up" or "let someone in you", you will be spoiled. But life does not work like that. The human reaction to what happens to him, whether good or bad, makes him the person he is. To say that any kind of sexual activity makes you "damaged" is the same as saying that everything that you stand is between your legs, and this is an absolute lie.

A woman must meet the needs of men

In the way the church speaks of sexual relations, double standards are clearly visible. She in this matter is always on the side of a man and puts his needs much higher than women's. The Church believes that a woman should always be ready to meet the needs of a man, at any time and in any situation. However, this fact does not apply to men meeting the needs of women in any way, be they sexual or any other needs. The Christian writer Mark Driscoll goes so far in these judgments that he claims that women who deny men for sex (regardless of the reasons - this may be the usual reluctance, anxiety, pain or even trauma from the experience of sexual violence) are selfish and Go against the will of God. It's time to put all the points above the "i" and say clearly and clearly: women are not personal sex toys of men.

Men marry because of sex, women marry because of love

Some conservative Christian writers describe men as "wild", who bear no responsibility for their actions. This gender stereotype is one of the most striking. People marry and marry for a variety of reasons. Sex and love are not even the only reasons why people bind themselves by marriage. However, one thing is certain: no reason is unique to any gender.

Marriage is forever

Although this is not always done explicitly, women are constantly advised to forgive their husbands, even if they regularly change or beat them. Moreover, women are persuaded not to divorce their husbands, as divorce is still considered by conservative Christian faiths as an immoral act. In addition, an outdated stigma regarding virginity can also make divorce for women difficult and painful.

Masturbation is a sin (and perhaps a sign of homosexuality)

Promotion of chastity by conservative Christianity is accompanied by a mistrust towards masturbation in both women and men. Some Christians even call the act of masturbation homosexual. They say that masturbation can be a form of homosexuality, since it is a sexual act that does not involve a person of the opposite sex. Often arguments against masturbation boil down to the biblical story of Onan, the man who deliberately shed his seed on the ground - and this serves as a proof of the sinfulness of masturbation. However, it is difficult to come up with a big lie. Masturbation is an absolutely normal process, healthy behavior for those who do not have a partner, and for those who are in a relationship or simply sexually inactive.