Immediate - is a man born from childhood?

Were you ever embarrassed for your child who could loudly ask: "Why is this aunt so fat?" Or "Why does not my uncle have hair on his head?" Most likely, yes. Children tend to behave themselves, as if there are no rules of propriety and laws of politeness.

Therefore, a person is direct - this is the one who "cuts the truth-womb" in person and says what he thinks. Is it right, does such immediacy work in the modern world? This we will talk about in this post.

Where does spontaneity come from?

"We were all spontaneous once," sounds this phrase almost sad for the simple reason that there are almost no adult people. Childhood is a time of dreaminess, faith in miracles, directness and openness. "Immediate" is a perfectly normal childish trait along with the eternal "why" of all surrounding and active games. However, note that by the age of eight or ten the child loses his sincerity. He begins to whisper with friends, to be silent, even if he has questions, to keep something in mind and not to express his feelings. Why is that? Very simple. Parents, educators, everyone and everyone surrounded by a baby inspire him that a person is direct is bad. To be sincere is to be impolite, rude, wrong. For a perfectly logical and direct question the baby can pinch, slap, say that he is silent. Adults recount the child to be sincere and advise him to learn the rules of this world as soon as possible. And therefore spontaneity is perfectly eradicated and replaced with hypocrisy.

Directness in adults

As Elena Ermolaeva said, spontaneity and naturalness - these qualities are super-elite, and not everyone can afford them. It's true. Our stereotyped and stereotyped world does not like openness and honesty. It is much more natural for us to lie, to tell lies, to keep silent than to be direct. This is partly due to the training since childhood. On the other hand, we see the consequences of immediacy every now and then. People are openly considered too simple, unpleasant, they are almost afraid and do not like. Imagine that we will speak in person what we think, our bosses, mother-in-law and mother-in-law, teachers, neighbors, even parents? It is not necessary to think that all words will be offensive, these are just emotions. No, people are afraid of the truth, but because most prefer to keep silent "in a rag". The immediate person, perhaps, enjoys the absence of "hindsight", but is unlikely to be happy with how others perceive him.

but on the other hand

Many confuse immediacy with the opposite qualities. If immediacy is a naturalness that does not imply anything wrong with one's neighbors, then excessive simplicity, bordering on rudeness, is already a bad character trait.

These qualities are difficult to confuse. The immediate person lives honestly, never asks for superfluous and does not offend a person. She will not tell the full lady "with spontaneity": "You're fat," but can not hide their thoughts if they ask about it. The immediate man laughs, cries, behaves the way his heart tells him, and not the social foundations. Ham, the rude is openly harmful to society, does not bear anything good or bright to people.

Advantages

So, after understanding the concepts, we can draw conclusions that such immediacy. But is this quality useful? Will direct behavior not harm the person, the society towards him? Most likely, that is not present. Genuine, true feeling can not hurt or interfere. Rather, a person hurts himself when he can not say what's on his mind or on his heart. The immediate person is one who develops, gives due to being to himself and, finally, to happiness. Be natural and spontaneous.