How to raise children: the main rules of education

The question of how to raise children is of concern to every responsible parent. This topic is so vast that it can devote a whole book (and not one). However, there are basic principles, deduced by years of research of doctors, psychologists, therapists, teachers, which should be known to everyone.

Contact . The task of raising children is facilitated if a strong bond is established with the parents (or one of the parents). Unconditional love and understanding, support - that's what parents should become for their child. It is in you that he should never doubt. Give the child to understand that he is beautiful, love him with all his faults, even if he disappoints you. Do not expect that he will not repeat your mistakes, that he will be perfect. It's impossible, it's part of you, and maybe not the best. But only your love will help him to become strong, confident, resourceful, to develop correctly. Learn by yourself and teach the child to discuss with you the problem, find a solution together.

Punishment is the main way of education. How should it be? First of all, remember, violence does not work. It gives the child the "right" to take offense, instead of realizing their guilt. But the absolute absence of punishment in the life of the child will lead to his spoiling, disobedience, the absence of boundaries in the behavior in society. Such children are called ill-bred. In punishment, there must be a golden mean. A symbolic slap can be used if you have exhausted all the forces of verbal explanations.

Parenting in the role. Children in our society are gradually confronted with an awareness of the difference between girls and boys. This difference is expressed in the imposition (in the good sense of the word) of a certain role. No matter how unpleasant it may sound, girls really should do it, but boys do it. Let your daughter have a pink dress, and her son has real "patsan" jeans. These little things are important for the normal development of the child. Education of boys will be different from the education of girls - this is the order of things in a civilized society. But this does not mean that you can not teach your daughter to be strong and bold, and the boy - to love and show indulgence. You are free to strive to bring up in your child those qualities that you think fit. But never neglect sexual identification.

Family composition. For the upbringing of a child, whether a boy or a girl, both parents are needed. If one of the parents is absent, this can significantly affect the normal development of the child: violates self-determination as a boy or girl (sexual identification) and so on. Sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that little depends on us. In this case, you should try to compensate for the absence of one of the parents. It is desirable, that in a life of the child both were present even to achievement of it of 5-7 years. If there is no such possibility, it should be ensured that he communicates with family friends, with whom he could take an example.

For education, the order of the birth of children in the family also matters. For example, in the case of the eldest, it should be borne in mind that he needs parental love more than anyone else, he is more jealous than other children. To it it is necessary to be more condescending, since as an older child it really was, due to circumstances, harder.

The youngest in his qualities is the exact opposite of the firstborn. He is spoiled and dependent, indecisive. This should be taken into account, every day solving the task of education.

Parenting twins should be reduced to the search for individuality. For example, do not dress children in the same clothes. At least, constantly.

Encourage mutual support in children, always emphasize that in this world only they are from each other. This will reduce jealousy, touchiness and improve the atmosphere in the family.

I myself. Another aspect of the problem of how to raise children is the issue of independence. This quality is one of the main advantages of modern man. But, unfortunately, many parents make such a mistake: at the time when the child is psychologically ready to try, manifest himself, imitate the adults to feel independent, they often stop these attempts without noticing it. And all because while the child is trying, he makes a lot of mistakes (crumbles, litter, spills), and all have to remodel it. And from his help more problems. But despite this, one should not succumb to the desire to drive away his child (take a rag when he tries to wash the floor, smearing dirt). Patiently show the child how to do it right.

How to raise children? This task, perhaps the most difficult in our life, requires a lot of effort, self-sacrifice and constant attention to your children. The main thing in education is to give the child love, to learn to get out of difficult situations, to appreciate oneself and achieve high goals.