How to get out of Carpman's triangle? Carpman's triangle: description, examples

Carpman's triangle is a model of the relationship between individuals of three different types. This is a kind of game that reflects reality. The author of this theory is Steven Carpman.

Carpman's triangle: a description of the model

This model implies the division of personalities into three types: Sacrifice, Chaser and Rescuer. Between the first and the second there is a conflict, but the third tries to settle the situation and help the victim. The peculiarity of this model is that such a situation can persist for many years, to some extent arranging each side. The persecutor, as a strong personality, terrorizes others, the Sacrifice finds satisfaction in shifting responsibility for his failures to others, but the Savior sees his purpose in helping out each and every of the difficult situations.

Despite the fact that the roles in the Carpman triangle are clearly distributed, this does not mean that they are always the same. It is difficult for people to constantly stick to the same position, and therefore the Victim can sometimes turn into a Persecutor, a Rescuer into a Sacrifice and so on. It should be noted that these transformations are not of a permanent nature, but are episodic.

Codependent relations

If we take the rule of analyzing the situation around us, then we can conclude that many of them illustrate the Carpman triangle. A co-dependent relationship is a kind of synonym, or the basis of a given psychological phenomenon. It means the situation when certain types of personality conflict, but at the same time absolutely do not represent their lives without each other.

The victim, persecutor and Rescuer are the main actors, on the interaction of which the Carpman triangle is based. The co-dependent relations between them are based on the fact that they self-realize at the expense of each other. So, the Sacrifice finds an excuse in attacking the Persecutor, who, in turn, gets satisfaction dominating her. The rescuer shows his aggression to the Persecutor under the pretext of protecting the Sacrifice. This is a vicious circle (or rather a triangle), which is not so easy to break. The main difficulty is that the subjects themselves do not want this.

The role of the Sacrifice

One of the roles of this psychological model is the Sacrifice. Carpman's triangle implies that such individuals tend to completely absolve themselves of responsibility for the events taking place in their lives. In addition, such a person tries in every possible way to gain attention and compassion for himself. Another option is the provocation of the aggressors. Having achieved its goal, the victim begins to manipulate them, demanding a certain compensation.

It is worth noting that it is the Sacrifice Carpman that sets the key value in his triangle. This is because this character can quickly become a Chaser or Rescuer. At the same time, the Victim does not fundamentally change his convictions, all also trying to avoid any responsibility for his actions.

It is worth noting that in some situations only of the characters of this type is the Carpman triangle. Exit the Victim is possible only by changing the emotional background. She must feel the possibility of bringing changes to her life, and also realize the fact that they are impossible without assuming responsibility.

The role of the Persecutor

The pursuer, by his nature, seeks leadership and domination over others. He tries to manipulate the Sacrifice, fully justifying these actions in his mind. It is only natural that the object of attacks begins to resist in every possible way. By suppressing this protest, the Persecutor self-affirms and receives moral satisfaction. Thus, it can be judged that oppression of others is his basic need.

Another feature of the role of the Persecutor can be considered that his actions are not groundless. Inside himself, he finds them a complete justification and explanation. The absence of such can completely destroy his beliefs. Nevertheless, if the Chaser meets resistance on the part of the Sacrifice, then this is an additional incentive for maintaining their own line of conduct.

The role of the Rescuer

The rescuer is a rather complex figure from a psychological point of view. There is a desire to manifest aggression, which he stubbornly suppresses. Due to some reasons, this person can not go into the status of the Persecutor, and therefore he has to look for another use for his unused resources. He finds his destiny in the defense of the Sacrifice.

It is worth noting that the ultimate goal of the Rescuer is not at all to bring the Victim out of the "miserable" situation. In this case, he risks losing his ways of self-realization. And it consists that the Rescuer shows the latent aggression concerning the Persecutor under the pretext of protection of the Victim. From this we can conclude that it is not profitable for the output of the last of the triangle.

How to exit the triangle

We constantly get into these or other life situations, and sometimes we create them ourselves. Finding a way out of the Carpman triangle sometimes proves to be a difficult task. The longer we are exposed to the environment, the deeper we melt in their scenarios and intrigues. If you feel psychological discomfort, then you just need to end your participation in this triangle.

The first step to solving the problem will be the recognition that this situation can be described as a Carpman triangle. How to get out of this dependency is largely determined by the role being played. Determine it is not so simple, because sometimes you can make unpleasant conclusions for yourself. Nevertheless, to solve the problem, you will need to objectively consider your behavior to determine who you are - a victim, a persecutor or a rescuer.

Recommendations for the Victim

This figure is one of the most complex and key in a model such as the Carpman triangle. How to get out of the role of Victim? It is quite difficult, but you can simplify the task, following some recommendations:

• Should gradually begin to take independent steps to improve their lives;
• It is important to stop shifting responsibility for your problems and troubles to others;
• Understand that for each service rendered to you it is necessary to pay to one degree or another;
• Get rid of the habit of excusing yourself - you have every right to do as you please;
• If a Rescuer has appeared in your life, try to benefit from communicating with him, without trying to push him with the Chaser.

Recommendations for the Rescuer

Rescuer leave the triangle Carpman will help the following actions:

• If no requests for help have been received, do not interfere in anybody's relations;
• Do not consider yourself smarter than others;
• Before you give someone a promise, make sure 100% that you are able to fulfill them;
• If you yourself are called to help, then do not count on gratitude;
• If you are providing assistance with a view to obtaining a benefit or a reciprocal service, do not hesitate to talk about it;
• Find a way of self-realization that does not involve interfering in other people's problems;
• If you feel your calling in helping others, then do it where it really is.

Recommendations for the pursuer

If Carpman's triangle has become an undesirable situation for the Chaser, then he should start working on himself in the following areas:

• Before you show aggression towards others, you must clearly make sure that it is not groundless, but is the result of someone's obscene behavior;
• You must realize that you tend to make mistakes in the same way as other people;
• Look for the cause of your problems and failures in your behavior, not in the personalities around you;
• Understand the fact that, just as you do not consider it necessary to reckon with alternative opinions, other people are also not at all obliged to accept your point of view;
• Find for yourself other ways of self-realization, except how to oppress others and dominate them;
• Achieve your own profit by motivating people, not by putting pressure on them.

Carpman's triangle: examples from life

In ordinary life, there are quite a lot of situations that can illustrate Carpman's triangle. So, the most common example is the relationship of the wife, husband and mother-in-law. The first, of course, acts as the Victim, which the Persecutor continuously terrorizes (it is not difficult to guess that this is the mother of the spouse). The husband in this game acts as a Rescuer, who tries to establish relationships between members of his family. In the process of resolving or aggravating the conflict, its participants can change positions, moving to other roles.

Another example of Carpman's triangle is the upbringing of a child in a family. Parent-persecutor is an adherent of rigor, and the Parent-Rescuer pities and pampers his baby. The child in this case takes the position of the Sacrifice. Not wishing to follow strict rules, he bleeds the Chaser and the Savior. Solving this problem in this way, it goes into the shadows, and the conflict between parents continues to develop.

conclusions

Most of the situations occurring in our life can fall under the description of the theory of the Carpman triangle. No matter how hard we try, no one can escape from taking the role of Victim, Persecutor or Aggressor in this or that situation. Nevertheless, the game can drag on, which is fraught with serious problems of psychological and practical plan. Then there comes a point in order to get out of this model.

You can exit Karpman's triangle only if you clearly understand your role in this game. It is not so easy to do this, because you can not soberly assess the situation and admit your own vices to not everyone. If you were able to clearly assess your role, then you just have to follow the relevant recommendations.

To leave Karpman's triangle, the victim must learn to take responsibility for his own failures. As for the Persecutor, he should find another source of self-expression, in addition to unmotivated aggression and humiliation of the dignity of others. The rescuer must realize that he can not always be right, and therefore do not rush to the rescue, if not followed the appropriate request.