Forms of raising children is not only pedagogy

Often in communication with the child, parents catch themselves on the fact that they do not know what to do. Depending on the situation, the forms of education will look different. It is important to understand what you want from the child and what the child wants from you.

It's simple! If your child asks for something with perseverance, then it means that for some reason he needs it. To choose reasonable forms of education and methods of pedagogical influence on the child, it is important for parents to find out - why. With this parental approach, the correct motivation for actions is formed, which later will not allow the child to make a mistake at a time when he remains without control and advice. In this way the supertask is achieved: the parent passes the child and the methods of self-education.

On the other hand, in order to form in this beloved treasure this most correct motivation (you can call it conscience, there is an opinion that conscience is our adviser), the parent himself also needs to have clear goals and
Unobtrusively explain to their child. In this case, the methods of raising children and approaching them to parents will be prompted by their loving hearts.

Let's say that your goal is to raise a happy person. Happy is a man who knows how to love. Because those who know how to love a person are usually loved by those who surround him. The principles of the world order, such as "nothing is taken from nowhere" and "love your neighbor as yourself" then work rigorously: to the one who gives his love, this love returns without fail. And from here and happiness.

Therefore, we teach the child to love and be happy. Asking for handles? We try to understand why. "Just a whim" is not an explanation. Because they simply can not be capricious, in principle, this will be learned from their parents' experience with parental direct participation. Caprice at an early age is not, there are unmet needs. For example, the need for bodily contact. We all We are born with this need. Just like with the need to eat, drink, sleep, move, breathe fresh air, relax after work and others. And no one will ever think of denying his child for no apparent reason in eating or walking. Similarly, for no apparent reason, you should not deny him his need to cuddle up to an adult, loving and strong person.

Besides, you know, everything looks different from the top - not as from below, it's much more interesting. By depriving his child of this angle of the world around him, the parent deprives him of the opportunity to discover the world in all its beauty and diversity. In any case, this possibility is postponed for a long time.

But suppose that the request to take on the handles is still accompanied by a roar and some irresponsibility. This suggests that the forms of upbringing chosen by parents earlier were not quite right - that is, elementary parents did not try to figure out what the child needed, and immediately took him in his arms to calm him. This is natural, because it is very unpleasant when the crumb is torn. But do not let the child get used to solving conflicts in this way, you need to find out the essence of his desires.

So, "not to yell" - this is an incorrect parent motive, this is not the action that is to the benefit of our goal to educate a happy person. Take it in your arms, please, but first explain what Mummy-daddy likes to take in their hands (it is to take in hands, not just love) a merry child. Speak it every time he cries and asks for his hands. Speak gaily, persistently, with love. Ask to wipe the tears, help him in this - give a handkerchief, napkin, in a word, distract as soon as possible from his unconscious while deciding to beg for a wish. Smile, miaukniv or bark, as you want, you better know what your child laughs at and what forms of education are required in this situation. And when he laughs, that's when you take him in your arms. With joy and with love. Several such exercises, and he will learn to wipe his tears before asking for help. Everyone will become a little easier.