"A real woman", or Once again about the dangers of stereotypes

How often do we face stereotypes in our life? Yes, almost every day, every hour. They are in our thoughts, in our knowledge, in the manner of behavior and attitudes - both those around us and ourselves. What have they been teaching since childhood? Properly play your role. We are told: "A real man does not cry," "a true woman must take care of herself, her house, her husband, her children" ... And we are from a very young age in the grip of other people's ideas.

Remember how often there is simply no strength after a day's work, having done the necessary housework, and also to take care of the affairs of those close to you. I do not want to get up early in the morning, while everyone is still sleeping, and prepare breakfast for the whole family, because "this woman" does this ... We are striving to take on as much as possible, we want to justify Nekrasov's "horse to stop at a gallop," and While we need to be fragile and defenseless. After all, how many times have you heard - from mother, mother-in-law, husband: a real woman is a tender and loving creature, a keeper of the hearth, eternal femininity, and so on and so forth ... And we begin to suffocate in other people's ideas. After all, the existence of opposing demands - "be strong" and "be weak", "know yourself to stand on your own feet" and "rely on your husband" - splits consciousness. This at best threatens us with a most serious neurosis. At worst, it leads to a split of families, to female alcoholism, to pathological relations. Let's look at the situation of women in modern society objectively. At least try.

If even 100-150 years ago the main thing was the upbringing of children and the maintenance of the house, now the duties that society imposes on a woman have by no means diminished. Quite the contrary. After all, now it is expected of her that the "real woman" must be well-groomed, educated, professionally prepared, independent. And what about the family? How often is there a conflict of attitudes? Continuously ... Let's take, for example, the situation when the parents' family valued education and career. "A real woman" must choose a vocation, get a diploma, engage in science. And in the family of the husband, on the contrary, the mother-in-law has got used to other way of life. For her, "a real woman" is one who serves her son, provides all his needs, while forgetting about himself. What happens to the psyche, if a person finds himself in a situation of such cognitive dissonance? It fails. And a woman can not understand what is really expected of her close. And how much dislike and disapproving can be the environment - at work, in the courtyard, in the kindergarten where we drive children ... If we are afraid of our own complexes and problems, the simplest way is to find them from others and condemn. "What kind of mother is this?", "You look how she dressed up," "she would just sit at home" or "she only thinks about work" - how often you hear such gossip ...

We absorb other people's stereotypes involuntarily, subconsciously. But if we can only look into ourselves, get to know our souls, we will understand how much our thinking is related, how much we are not free from shor in front of our eyes. And if in us the love of life, the desire for self-realization is still strong, we can remove them. And to understand that in reality the real woman is the one who knows how to be happy and free. And that she owed nothing to anyone. She came to this world to live her own - unique - life. And not to be an "ideal couple", a "better mother", an "obedient daughter" .... Only realizing this, we will be able to learn to accept ourselves - and hence others - as we are or they are.