16. Who is to blame and what to do?

Perhaps the very phrase "pregnant at 16" already suggests, if not fear, then at least a familiar feeling - somewhere we've heard about it. Yes, it is about this problem that the media of all stripes are vying with each other. In other words, this is called teenage pregnancy, early, and so on. But no matter how we call this phenomenon, it will not be better and the situation, alas, will not change for the better.

It may be, of course, early to sound the alarm, since pregnant women at 16, and even more so, at 15-14 - are more likely to be an exception than the rule, but experts say that their number is growing. Slowly, but, alas, this is already a pattern. Mom's younger, the age of parturient women is decreasing.

It should be remembered that if a girl, but practically a girl, is pregnant at 16, then this pregnancy is not just the result of an unprotected sexual intercourse. No. The reasons are much deeper and they are more tragic.

Consider the main ones. First, pregnancy can happen in families where special care is given in a special favor. It strangles and prevents living. And nowhere from this parental care can not escape. Everything seems to be good: the girl is full, shod and able to live in abundance, but that's not perceived as an adult and do not speak on equal terms, heart to heart. And all from the position - we parents and know better. So you get this case: pregnant at 16, like a cry for help, as proof of adulthood and shock therapy for those who do not want to hear their parents' daughter. But this is not the only reason, but only "one of".

Early pregnancy can occur simply because the teenager lacks reliable information. And again the strings lead to the parents. They did not explain where the children come from, did not tell about contraceptives, they did not teach to strive first of all for social and psychological maturity, and only then take responsibility and enter into a relationship. These notorious "not" leads eventually to what we have: "I'm 16 years old, I'm pregnant." And then tears, reproaches and even attempts at suicide begin. Alas, pregnancy is a great stress even for trained parents, and what to say, when for a teenager it is like a bolt from the blue? And in this case, the girl needs support, as never before.

What are the causes of such early pregnancies? And they are simple and at the same time terrible. It could be rape. Yes, we live in a society where a woman, especially a young woman, is a desirable object for committing violence. Practically in any Russian city it is worth (more precisely, it is not necessary) to leave the house after 21-22 hours, as the probability of being robbed, raped, injured increases at times. Alas, the experts here do not bode well for us either. Crime only grows and the police can not stop it, even after loud renunciations and reforms.

But here again the reason should be looked for in the parents - why was the daughter at that time outside the parental home? Maybe it's easier for her to be away from home, run to friends or just hang around on the street, than to be under the same roof with her parents? Of course, rape can happen at home, usually it happens when the person in the house has access with criminal inclinations, of course, with the consent of adults.

So, what happens in this case? Yes, the conclusion suggests obvious. If your daughter is pregnant at 16 or earlier, which also happens more often, all the strings, whatever one may say, are drawn to the parents. And educate, and you need to be angry with yourself. Alas, contact with the child, alas, was lost. Or it was not at all.

But the coming pregnancy does not mean that everything is over and lost. In the end, life continues anyway. If the first bells were not noticed by the parents, then the shock therapy, which was mentioned above, is carried out.

Look for contact with the child, do not lose it, be interested in what your child lives, but not from the position of control and guardian, but from the position of a friend and an equal.