Will we admit a mentoring tone in communication? Different points of view

In domestic works of psychologists devoted to the science of communication, as a rule, there is always an indication of the inadmissibility of using a mentor tone that provokes a negative reaction to the interlocutor. Let's take a closer look at what a mentor's tone is, and how unambiguous the statement about the inadmissibility of its use.

History of the Term

The word "mentor" came to us from gray antiquity, from ancient Greek mythology. This name is mentioned by the poet Homer in his classic poem about the wanderings of Odysseus. When the main hero went to fight with Troy, he instructed his friend Mentor to look after his son Telemachus and instruct him. The teacher zealously fulfilled his duties. He taught Telemachus, protected him from stupidities, gave reasonable advice. Until now, the name Mentor has come down as a common noun, it means a teacher, a mentor, someone who is smarter and acts more correctly.

The meaning of the word "mentor" in Russian everyday life

In the Russian sense, the mentor is a synonym for a harsh teacher who demonstrates his superiority over the pupils, thereby turning to them with some arrogance.

If the interlocutor is unshakably confident in his rightness and communicates with extraneous tone, not tolerating objections, they say that he took a "mentor's tone." Communicating in this way, the mentor demonstrates his conviction that his judgments can not be erroneous, he does not give the right to the existence of a point of view different from his own.

In Russian literature, both artistic and scientific, the term "mentoring tone" is used from the negative point of view, this expression always has an ironic tinge. Mentor is characterized as a man who is overconfident, does not respect his interlocutors, allowing inappropriate feelings of arrogance towards others.

Why it is inadmissible to use the mentoring tone in communication

Psychologists advise in every way to avoid arrogance towards others. Who can take a mentoring tone:

• Parents in communication with the child;
• The teacher in communication with the student;
• Leader in relation to subordinates;
• A successful person to others;
• Leader in his group.

However, each person wants to feel their importance, everyone is pleased when he is treated with respect and sympathy. Naturally, the swagger and delusion of the greatness of the speaker can only push his listeners away. Mentor's tone can significantly reduce the self-esteem of those to whom it is used regularly, to nullify the results of even the most brilliant speech. He causes hostility, resentment, a desire to take revenge.

In diplomacy, pretentious statements and a mentoring tone are a direct way to a political crisis. The latter may even be the cause of war.

Mentor-mentor

However, only our concept of "mentor" has a negative color, although the hero of Homer was a wise and caring teacher. Therefore, in Europe in the Middle Ages this word was respected with tutors and teachers.

Today the word "mentor" is increasingly used to refer to a literate teacher. Mentoring in the scientific literature is defined as a way of communicating with gifted children, as a way of transferring experience and knowledge. In this case mentoring is associated with mentoring and involves feedback between the teacher and the student. This way of communication involves not only the transfer of knowledge, but also support, and encouragement, and the disclosure of the potential of the pupil.

Mentor mentor - this attentive assistant, while he is strict enough and demanding, does not make allowances, honestly talks about the results of work, even if they are not the best. This way of communication between the educator and the gifted student is recognized as highly effective, as it helps the latter to assemble and fully demonstrate their potential.