What to answer the question "what's new"? How to answer the original question in an original way?

Many people are worried that the answer to the question "what's new". In fact, this is a fairly trivial way to start a conversation. But for some reason he sometimes terribly annoying.

The ambiguous answer in verse

A hint that the answer to the question "what's new" can be the answer: "Regularly!" Naturally, the questioner will go into a stupor and ask: "What are you talking about?" And get the second unfolded answer: "And you?"

If they ask: "How are you?", Then instead of the trivial "Until you gave birth!" Or "As the soot is white!" You can laugh funny: "As in Poland!" The bewildered interlocutor will necessarily ask the following question: "And this is how? "And then he can be dumbfounded with a witty phrase:" And who has more ... that and the pan! "And let him now think out himself, they meant finance, health, love, the number of children or simple everyday joys.

An empty question is a detailed answer!

If you know for sure - there is no curiosity, even idle, the interlocutor does not feel, there is no other way out, how to answer the question "what's new" with humor - to douse the questionable flow of incomprehensible information. Somehow like this: "Oh, there's a new mass in the world! Recently, the famous scientist Kukhelfigner Tampinium Valentinovich, and you yourself, probably, in the course, he specializes in studying the ecology of the planet Mars, opened the possibility of breeding cetaceans of infusoria like a slipper in the sandy seas of the Red Planet. And as a result, I received the Nobel Prize for the discovery of nanotechnology for organizing penguin flights from the South Pole to the North for the time of pairing them with spotted eared seals! "And what can you say about" what's new "to a man who does not really care at all, Do you have some new?

The answer for especially meticulous interlocutors

If such an unfolded answer does not suit the bore, and he decides to clarify, asking again: "And your business is how?", Then you can "tell" about your fate. Yes, so that he himself does not talk about himself, and make people laugh, and do not offend the interlocutor. That's what you can answer the question "what's new" in the event that you do not want to disclose anything about yourself.

"Yes, and I have all the type-top! I won the Grand Prix at the Ice Age contest in the Hawaiian deserts of Washington! Represented there the hand-held rodent of a mini-kurvik, which I derived personally by crossing a domestic cockroach with a water-melon seed and adapted for dwelling in space airless space. Now I decide where to spend money. Do not you suggest? "And let the hapless interlocutor now himself puzzle his answer.

Answer "cheating"

And it is completely incomprehensible that one can answer the question "what's new" to a stranger. After all, he absolutely does not know anything and "about the old" that happened in the life of the interlocutor with whom he wants to support the conversation. Therefore, it is easy to conclude: there is a conversation with a bore who, moreover, does not shine with the mind. This is easier to sew than to explain to him: to climb to a stranger with such questions is uncultured. And so do not puzzle over the fact that you can answer the question "what's new" to such an interlocutor - blur out the first, come to mind! For example: "Well, the pipe in the central heating battery burst!" Certainly the question will follow: "Do you?" And here the stunning answer will even baffle an experienced bore: "No, Vasily is a bum from the next street!"

It is possible to answer and so: "On the TV have told or said - tomorrow the snow will drop out!" If in the yard July and already a week's heat is forty degrees, such a message will beat the obsessive companion. His second question should be clarified: artificial snow and will fall out in the play "Overcoat", which puts the student group "Okapi in the fight for freedom ponies!"

To joke at all and it is not a sin, since it seems ridiculous

You can always joke in a funny way if you do not want to tell the truth. And if you doubt that the original answer to the question "what's new", boldly answer: "In the store, new cots have been delivered! Long-nosed and sharp-eyed, handed out free of charge, and the rest - three and a half a meter! Can you lend me eighty forty to your paycheck? "

Quite creative is the answer-a quote from a favorite cartoon or movie series. "How's it going?" - "Yes, that's the tail is breaking, then the paws fall off. But (and this is wonderful!) The hairiness increased! "Usually the interlocutor supports the joke, continuing:" And now you can sleep in the snow! "

The original answer for the excitement of interest in his person

Sometimes I want to start a conversation with a person I like, but nothing worthwhile comes to mind, from which I could start. And suddenly he himself addresses the question! However, it is enough beaten and traditional, but in fact the first step is already made! It remains only to kindle a tiny spark, turn it into a burning ardent interest in yourself. So to answer the guy on the question "what's new", if it's very important not to embroider it, but to continue the conversation?

You can put a thoughtful expression on your face and whisper mysteriously: "Imagine, I still defended myself!" One hundred percent will follow the second question: "Do you work on a thesis?" - "Oh, no! Yesterday I successfully defended myself against the attacks of Nyura's woman, along with the woman Valya, my neighbors in the stairwell! "

Even if the guy was not sure about one hundred percent in his irresistible desire to continue the conversation, after such a creative response, he simply owes ... Well, if you do not marry, then continue the conversation at least!

Question is thrown out by question

It is possible to surprise the interlocutor with the answer question, if there is no answer and there is no desire in detail. "How are you?" The interlocutor asks for courtesy. And in response he hears: "Yes, here I think ... Who is stronger: a camel or a hippopotamus?" A person with a sense of humor will appreciate this move, laugh and try to solve the dilemma. The dull one will think: "Well, the dumbass!" - and confusedly step aside.

You can think of another question that will also help to change the topic of the conversation. For example, this: "But if a child is born during a space flight in a rocket, which country and city will be recorded in the" place of birth "?"

A convenient way to interrupt the conversation at the very beginning

Sometimes a person is very unpleasant, and continuing to communicate with him there is no desire. And again, a joke can help to get out of the situation. Answer the question "What are your news?" With the phrase: "Yesterday my husband was diagnosed with" tuberculosis of the left heel "! Now I think now, do I have to go through the tests myself or fall off? "In the vast majority of cases, such a response causes laughter in the interlocutor and a slight rush. The word "tuberculosis" is the key word here, and the "left heel" is lost in its shadow.

You can think of another situation. For example, such.

"Yes, relatives from the Nenets Autonomous Okrug decided to visit them. Nothing at all - fifteen people. Maybe you'll let five of them stay with you for a short time, only six months? Just feel sorry for the young mother with four kids on the balcony to sleep to bed! "Perhaps the question asked will not be a good opinion of his interlocutor, but the desire to continue the conversation with him, no doubt, will disappear.