This subconscious strategy influences the choice of friends at work

When Syama Mager, a retailer for the e-commerce department of the famous American network Barneys New York, applied for an increase, it pursued its own lofty goals. The woman hoped to get into the planning department, which would allow her to manage most of the business. However, she had something to fear: this is a risk, emotional vulnerability, because many of us are dependent on the opinions of colleagues. And this was a direct way to let people know about their intentions.

When, as a result of promotion, Siyama did not receive, giving way to a candidate who came from another firm, she was incredibly upset. Like many people who faced a failure at work, she turned to colleagues for support. This is a rather stereotyped situation: seeking support from others and compassion. However, in the journal "Behavioral Ecology" there appeared the results of a study, which state that not always we are able to adequately see the reality and evaluate people.

The results also showed that the choice of colleagues to whom we apply for support directly depends on our gender. Men try to find allies that will help solve difficult tasks or advise something, and women expect compassion and moral support. And, as a rule, this strategy is losing.

Where to find support?

The study involved 246 people: 121 men and 125 women. They were offered 2 situations: participation in the physical struggle and loss in it, as well as victory or defeat in the battle for a higher position. In each case, the confrontation occurred with a person of the same sex. Then the participants were shown photos of 20 possible "friends" who were ready to come to the rescue or support. It was necessary to choose, to whom they would turn for help, and describe how they imagine a person internally.

Who is the friend and who is the enemy?

In the case of a loss in physical competition, most men chose a male ally looking leader. Women, however, preferred the pretty girls of their sex. Thus, scientists came to the conclusion that soft facial features, large eyes and female sex force people to assume the presence of altruism and empathy in humans. To such people first of all will apply for sympathy and support after physical defeat.

In the situation of advancement on the career ladder, both men and women chose to seek an ally among the female, regardless of the result of the struggle. It turned out that the work unites not by gender, but in the course of overcoming difficulties.

About stereotypes

According to Christopher Watkins, one of the authors of the study that lectures on psychology at the University of Aberdeen, people believe that those who give the impression of dominant leaders (by external parameters) are not able to provide moral support, but can help when it comes to the need Specific actions. It is assumed that they talk less, but do more, and therefore are not inclined to empathy. However, the authors of the study also recognize that these stereotypes, which the subconscious tells us, in some situations may be far from the truth.

To regret or act?

The same Syama Maher said that after the defeat in the struggle for the post she sought support from different colleagues, and the greatest influence on her was given to people with leadership qualities. They prompted a rational decision, so she went to another city and opened her own firm, where she could earn a good capital. In the end she is very grateful that at that time her friends did not just regret her and expressed sympathy, but tried to motivate her to move on. With these colleagues she is still friendly, and some of them have moved to work for her firm.