Secular etiquette: the concept and foundations. The history of etiquette. Ethics and etiquette

Today, you can not meet a man who, on his first acquaintance, falls on one knee or hangs his bow to the ground. Women no longer make curtsey, men rarely kiss the hand of the ladies, no one learns the waltz parties or the elements of the mazurka. With what surprise would the ancestors look at us! After all, for them such secular etiquette was a matter of routine and even compulsory, determined the presence of upbringing, good manners and culture. How and why the norms and rules of behavior in high society changed over time, this article will tell.

What does "secular etiquette" mean?

This definition incorporates a set of good manners and regulates lines of socially approved behavior. Knowledge of the norms of modern etiquette can help a person to arrange an environment for himself, to impress, to consolidate the reputation of an erudite intellectual and an attentive person. However, to achieve a similar opinion about yourself is a real science. It dealt with all the generations that lived before, so some of the councils to this day still worked out, despite the periodic changes in habits, tastes, worldviews. Regardless of time and epoch, social expectations with respect to the individual remained generally unchanged - they always included the presence of politeness, a sense of tact and courtesy, the ability to behave at a table, a guest, in a public place, the ability to start and maintain a conversation.

The emergence of etiquette

The history of etiquette is traditionally associated in the minds of most of the population with France, England and a number of other European countries, for example, Germany. However, they can not be called the birthplace of the birth of secularism! Here, for a long time, there was widespread ignorance, rudeness, ignorance, respect for power and power. Secular etiquette owes its origin to Italy, which alone, thanks to its own economic power, stood out, especially in the Early Middle Ages, against the background of other states. So, until the middle of the 16th century, England remained a barbaric country with bloodthirsty laws because of relentless involvement in new wars. At this time, independent Italian city-communes were rich, engaged in the development of art and, of course, in attempts to beautify and ennoble their own lives, gradually introduced the standard of etiquette. Germany of this period, like England, was involved in an equally bloody war, in connection with which the nobility for a long time remained uncultured. France similarly recognized only the power of power, war and combat.

This is the beginning of the birth of etiquette, more approximated by its canons to the present. Of course, we should not think that, as of the Middle Ages, there were no standards of etiquette in the world. They took shape almost immediately after the person appeared, and hence, to a greater or lesser extent, accompanied people since ancient times. After all, worship of the elements and local gods can also be considered certain rules of behavior. Ancient Greece, for example, also contributed to the development of secular norms: to the merits of the Greeks is the creation of table and business etiquette.

The history of further development of etiquette

Secular etiquette in its development has come a long way. Gradually, when military operations in Europe began to acquire a more focused and deliberate nature, the concept of courtesy appeared. It regulated the rules of behavior of knights, who began to act as one of the main representatives of an educated society with their own, distinctive, high secular culture. According to the code of honor, the knight had to choose for himself the Beautiful Lady of the heart, to fight and win for her, to be able to compose verses and songs in honor of the beloved, not to expect an answer from her side and play chess well. Of course, provided for the rules and availability of such characteristic for the knight valor and skills as the ability to perfectly master the weapon, ride a horse, the ability to show courage, determination and fearlessness at the right time.

The etiquette of the secular society of that time presented such traditions familiar to mankind today, like shaking hands when meeting or removing the headdress. Both in the time of chivalry confirmed the lack of desire to kill the interlocutor and was used to express good intentions and good disposition. Of course, today a person who automatically shakes hands with a friend may not even know about how important this gesture was in the world of medieval Europe!

The next stage, which characterizes the history of etiquette, is the Renaissance (Renaissance) period. The achievements of technical progress, science and art have led to increased contacts between countries, as a result of which the norms of etiquette have made a huge step forward, have become identical with the education and elegance of man. More and more popular were such rules as washing hands before meals, using cutlery and the ability to understand them, observing a consistent style in clothes, the lack of excessive bombast and panache.

In the future, the notion of etiquette changed continuously, filling if not with a new, then qualitatively different content from era to era. Only the best and the most necessary were chosen, something that could really show the person as an independent unit and characterize it in the aspect of knowledge of the rules of culture. Today, this process is still not completed - the basics of the etiquette are not static, they are in continuous change and development. With the advent of new spheres, new rules of behavior also appear.

And what was with etiquette in Russia?

The initial existence of secular etiquette in the territory of modern Russia can be compared with the situation taking place in the emerging states of medieval Europe. Clearly formulated norms and rules as such were not until the end of the XVII - beginning of the XVIII century, that is, until the throne was raised by the educator and reformer Peter I. Before him, the universal reference book of any Russian was Domostroy, in which Were laid down the fundamental foundations of family life and farming, according to which a man was the undivided head of the house, could beat his wife, and also independently established according to what customs and traditions they would live. Peter saw in this a vestige of the past, unsuitable for a progressive state, and therefore borrowed from Europeans many books teaching secular etiquette.

Modern forms of etiquette and those that are familiar to a person from history

Today mankind, in addition to the courtly, past, etiquette, is also familiar with the following types:

• Court - the culture and etiquette, which were necessary for observance at the court of monarchs. These are strictly regulated and binding standards. For their non-compliance (for example, not bowing before the king's figure) it was quite possible to go to the scaffold. This form of etiquette is used today in states with a monarchical form of government.
• Diplomatic are rules of secular etiquette that regulate the behavior of diplomats and the process of their interaction with each other during a meeting, in negotiations, at a reception, etc. This form of etiquette has also developed a long time, but it continues to exist to this day.
• Military etiquette is regulated by the existence of a specific charter and traditions developed over time that determine the conduct of all members involved in the military system. This includes manners and norms of behavior in both service and non-service spheres of activity, in interpersonal contacts, in the performance of greetings and addresses that have a ritual orientation and are not used in other spheres of life.
• Professional - a kind of etiquette, which acquired the greatest development during the XX and XXI centuries due to the active increase in the number of professions associated with the beginning of the era of scientific and technological progress. The most diverse segments of the population from all continents began to become more actively involved in professional activities, which resulted in a significant expansion of the functional etiquette of this type.
• Neighborhood and business etiquette co-exist with the professional, which regulates the norms of communication of officials with each other in the performance of their direct official duties.
• General (also called behavioral or directly secular) - is the widest concept of etiquette, since it combines a common set of norms, rules, conventions and traditions that people use to communicate with each other. General civil etiquette, thus, is the most universal of all other species.
• Speech is a form of etiquette that establishes verbal cultural norms presupposing knowledge of the stylistic and grammatical foundations of the language, as well as the ability to simply, clearly and intelligibly expound your thoughts and communicate them to others. This type is an obligatory component, included in all the above types of etiquette, since it is the skills to write and speak well are the basic principles of any etiquette in general.

Now it's time to consider the difference between the concepts of "ethics and etiquette." They can easily be confused, while each of them has a certain meaning, different from another word.

Ethics and etiquette: differences and similarities

If what is etiquette is already explained above, it's time to determine what the term "ethics" bears within itself. This concept is an investigation of morality and morality from the point of view of philosophy, that is, to the rules of social behavior, it seems, has a very distant relationship. Differences of these concepts can be visually demonstrated on specific examples, for example:

• "Love for the Lord and neighbor" is a sentence that reveals the principle of ethics.
• "Do not kill, do not steal, do not covet" - this phrase, which already defines the principle of etiquette (in terms of Christian morality).

Both categories are designed to lead a person to the true path, to teach him to perform good deeds, to instill a bright, kind view of the world. This is the main similarity between the terms "ethics" and "etiquette". The first determines what needs to be achieved, and the second - that, through which and how it can be implemented.

Secular etiquette today: how to behave?

Now it's time to get a better understanding of what etiquette means, that is, to go directly to the practical guide to action.

Modern secular etiquette provides for:

• Forms of greeting and referring to another;
• Rules of conduct during eating;
• Standards of conduct in certain circles of society;
• The rules of conversation, which also represent a separate art with its subtleties and nuances (secular conversation);
• Courtesy in addressing women;
• Respect and respect for the elder by age and position.

How to achieve that, to leave an exceptionally positive impression in society, establish itself as an educated and cultured person?

Etiquette tools

The rules of secular behavior, which consist of the unity of the aesthetic (external) and moral and ethical (internal) components, offer each person an arsenal of certain auxiliary tools for achieving the set goal - to achieve recognition in society. These include:

• Modesty and restraint. These qualities are by no means identical to shyness, shyness and self-doubt, but are determined by the undemanding attitude to one's own person, the lack of expectation of any privileges, and the desire to expose oneself to the public;
• Sensitiveness and tactfulness that manifests itself in the ability to take into account the age of the interlocutor, his position in society, the circumstances and place of conversation, the absence or presence of outsiders, the mental disposition of the one with whom communication takes place;
• Feeling of action and the ability to stop yourself;
• Ability to control own actions;
• Ability to exercise care.

Engaging in education, cultivation of these qualities in yourself, you can be sure: sooner or later, recognition in society will still come.

Is it possible to learn etiquette?

Of course! At present, anyone wishing to improve their skills in dealing with people around them can be offered a choice of any master class on secular etiquette. Connoisseurs teach their wards the ability to behave properly at the table, understand the variety of cutlery, competently conduct discussions on deep, philosophical topics with the opponent so that no one offends, organize and conduct receptions, go public places and much more. Of course, an integral part of the course is the "secular conversation" section, which will help insecure people start talking beautifully, exquisitely and without unnecessary frills.

Summarizing

So, now it becomes clear that in secular etiquette there is nothing terrible. Basics of etiquette, in fact, to some extent, everyone knows, you just need to decide for yourself whether you need more development of existing skills or what is, it is enough. After this, it is necessary or necessary to take yourself in hand and learn the basics of secularity without leaving home, or enroll in a special course, which today are presented in a huge variety. The main thing is motivation, and there and up to the high world not far!