How to leave the parents' house? Psychologist's advice

As one grows up, one begins to dream of an independent life. Parental attention and care are no longer so pleasant. In addition, looking at peers who have been active for a long time, young people are increasingly asking themselves how to leave their parents' homes.

Understand yourself

Many people are wondering how to leave the house, guided by the example of their friends or stereotyped thinking. But before moving on to active action, think about whether or not you really want it. You must realize the following things:

• You will live alone (unless, of course, you do not rent an apartment together with friends or a second half). Traditional conversations, gatherings at the TV, family dinners will be inaccessible to you.
• You will have to pay for yourself not only housing, but also food, hygiene items, clothes and much more. Are you sufficient for this?
• All the burden of caring for the house will also fall on your shoulders. Before you leave the house, you need to understand if you are able to solve everyday problems. Clean, wash, cook - all this will now have to do on your own.

If there are no problems with finances, and household issues do not frighten you, you can think about living on your own.

Talking with parents

Before you leave the house, you need to conduct a thorough conversation with all members of the family. This event needs to be carefully prepared and adjusted to the fact that your initiative can be perceived negatively. The conversation scenario should be something like this:

• First, tell us how much you love your family and how important you are to a warm and strong relationship.
• Further, carefully lead to the fact that you are an adult who does not have to burden his family.
• Try to bring arguments to your advantage. For example, you already earn a lot, and you can also take care of yourself in everyday life.
• Explain to family members that your departure from home is not a break in family relations. Promise that you will see each other often.
• Naturally, you need to give the floor to each of the family members.

How to prepare parents for their move?

Say "I want to leave home!" And banging his fist on the table is a wrong decision. Put yourself in your family's place to understand how difficult it is for them to accept this situation. To prepare people close to your move, you can do the following:

• Become an economic man. Wash and iron your things yourself. You take care of yourself in your room and even prepare food. First, you will remove the burden from your relatives, and secondly, prove your independence.
• Try to spend less time at home. Try sometimes to stay overnight with friends. If you receive a proposal for a short business or entertainment trip, be sure to agree.
• During family conversations, as if by accident, remember your acquaintances who already live on their own.

Ask for help

Parents are extremely painful when their child leaves home. Even if he is already 20, 30 or 40 years old, they want to give him their love and in every way to patronize. So try to minimize the shock of your move. For example, ask your relatives for help. This can be a search for housing, repairs, arrangement of life. Perhaps even some financial help from parents can be accepted as a contribution to your new life.

Nevertheless, parents sometimes try to keep children at home, blackmailing their finances. There is a confrontation: the children are trying to prove something, but not always it ends well. If you are not sure of your ability to cover at least the minimum costs, postpone the move.

Where to leave home

When all organizational problems are solved, it's time to decide on the place of future residence. Of course, it's the easiest for young people who just graduated from school. The main thing is to choose a suitable university in another village, and for the next few years the problem of housing (hostel) will be solved.

Buying your own apartment is rarely available to young people. Far from all can rent. If you have firmly decided to rent your own home, but there is not enough money, try to cooperate with one of your friends. Together, it will be easier to solve financial issues, as well as easier to arrange life, organize leisure.

If you have problems with finances, but an independent life is your dream, try to carefully study the sites for finding work. For example, during the holiday season, many hotels, boarding houses and sanatoriums offer temporary work with accommodation. However, for this you will most likely have to move to another city, but this will allow you to experience even deeper all the charms and shortcomings of an independent life.

If both with money, and with mutual understanding everything is in order, it's a little thing. Criteria for choosing housing should be two: proximity to the parent's home and a convenient location relative to your place of work.

Tips for parents

Sometimes it becomes a real tragedy for parents if a daughter or son leaves home. Someone silently experiences this problem, and someone begins to blackmail an adult child and reproach him in his solitude. Such parents are encouraged to remember their youth. Surely you have also been bombarded with maximalism, you dreamed of career achievements and the creation of your own family. Agree that building a romantic relationship is much easier without parental supervision. In addition, a person should always have a chance to self-realization. If you tie your children to yourself, then you risk making them unhappy. Sooner or later they will accuse you of all their failures.

Conclusion

How to leave home and live independently? This is a difficult question that requires an individual approach. It will be easier for young people from full families, where there are also younger brothers and sisters. But what if you are the only consolation of your parents? Of course, this does not tie you to them for life. You just have to show more sensitivity and understanding. Your parents will be only happy if you find a strong and loving family, reliable friends, and will achieve success in your work.